You know how to be a mom, but how to be a grandma - at first you have no idea. This is a completely new role that falls to a mature woman. With our advice, you will learn how to be the perfect grandmother for a grandchild without causing conflicts with the child's parents.

The experience of many families shows that sometimes it is difficult to find harmony and understanding between the grandmother, the child's parents and the child himself. The expectations and needs of these three parties are slightly different. It is not easy to reconcile them. To best fulfill your grandmother role, learn a few rules and try to follow them.

A good grandma supports her parents

Be loyal to the child's parents and under no circumstances question their parentage. It is not always easy. Most grandparents remember raising their own children and want to do the same with their grandchildren. Meanwhile, a lot has changed over the years in the methods of caring for and bringing up children and this must be accepted. You must do everything to ensure that the parents are completely sure that they are in charge of the child's care, you only support their efforts. Do not impose your solutions on them, even if you consider them to be the best.

A good grandma keeps her cool

You enjoy taking care of your long-awaited little grandson. On the other hand, you are tense, you are worried about his safety. When your own children were young, you did not have these fears, you were self-confident and you made bold decisions. It's completely natural, all grandmothers experience it too - it's just that - the older a man gets, the more cautious he becomes.

A good grandma focuses on development

Remember that children develop quickly and will ask you about all sorts of things. Ideally, you should be able to answer all the questions. So refresh and deepen your messages and do not protect yourself from news from various areas of life. Explain to your grandson everything that is interesting - never say: leave me alone. On the contrary - listen to him, provoke him to talk, to talk about his joys, interests, but also anxieties and fears. Very often it is you, the only one in the family, who has time to listen carefully to your grandson. You will find many times that it is not always easy to follow his interests. If you don't know something and your grandson is well-versed in it, don't be ashamedmyself. If you ask him for an explanation, he will be proud!

Take care of attractions as a grandmother

This is the easiest thing to do during the holidays. If you decided to spend part of your vacation with your child on your plot or elsewhere outside the city, work out - preferably together with the grandfather - a plan for your grandchild's stay. This period can be used to create closer ties between the grandson and the grandfather, as well as teaching the child something new, e.g. cycling, swimming, chess, recognizing mushrooms, birds, trees.

Respect your time

Don't let the burden of caring for and educating your grandson be passed on to you. Firstly, because a toddler must have as much contact with his parents as possible. Then it will develop properly. Second, you have the right to dispose of your time. Third, remember that a grandmother who limits all her activities to helping her children and grandchildren usually loses. There is a danger that the family will eagerly take advantage of the grandmother's help, and when the moment comes when they no longer need it, they will move her aside.

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Play as a grandmother

If you've just become a grandmother, don't try to pretend that nothing has changed in your life. Whether you like it or not, the birth of a grandson changes the whole system of relations in the family.

Parents want:

  • Grandma gave them a day off, and from time to time took the child to her place for the weekend;
  • during the child's illness she meticulously followed the doctor's orders and never acted on her own;
  • gave the child gifts and even helped finance the child's expenses;
  • followed the principles of rational nutrition, did not overfeed the child or offered him delicacies forbidden by his parents;
  • she dressed the child in what the parents would prepare.

The grandchildren want:

  • grandma was always close and showed love, hugged and comforted;
  • she was neat and cheerful;
  • defended against her parents;
  • did not reveal her secrets to anyone;
  • forgive everything;
  • admired and was always proud of all the achievements and successes;
  • helped to solve problems, advised;
  • prepared their favorite dishes;
  • fooled around with them from time to time.

Grandma wants:

  • if she did not what her parents wanted, they started a discussion and tried to understand her motives;
  • her parents did not accuse her of indulging her grandson too much to win the first place in his heart (even if she didis);
  • Grandpa did not show his dissatisfaction (jealousy?) When she comes home late from his grandson and grandpa is hungry because no one gave him dinner.

Be a cheerful granny

Children do not tolerate constant complaints about their he alth. So do not feed them with stories about your own and friends' diseases, do not overload the psyche of a small child with them. Grandma's pessimism can make a child shy, badly affect his character. This does not mean that children should not be sensitive, but that they should be moderately dosed about the sadder side of life.

Take care of your authority with your grandson

Be an attractive partner for your child for talks, walks, trips to the cinema. However, be careful not to overdo it and become a buddy or a friend instead of a partner. A certain distance between the grandmother and the child should be kept. You don't have to play hopscotch with your granddaughter or climb a tree with your grandson. You are the person who shows and explains the world to your grandchildren, and at the same time loves them, which in total gives your child a sense of security.

Be patient

When coming to your baby, leave a bad mood, problems and worries behind the door. Leaning over a baby with a smiling face, you will put them in a good mood and increase their sense of security. Also, try to be understanding about your child's parents' fatigue, mistakes, and even bad moods, especially during infancy.

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Category:

Psychology