The rules of savoir-vivre require that you behave tactfully not only in a new company, but also in the circle of close and extended family. Relationships with distant relatives and in-laws, whom we know less than our household members, or whom we see only during family celebrations, can cause trouble. How to approach close and distant family members to become a well-mannered person?

The rules of savoir-vivrein relation to family members are, contrary to appearances, not an easy issue. On the one hand, they require keeping an appropriate distance, and on the other hand, they should serve to maintain a close, cordial relationship. This dual nature of family relationships is conducive to misunderstandings and awkwardness. Questions arise: what to do in the event of a conflict? How to behave during ceremonies such as wedding, baptism, funeral?

Demonstrating good manners in the above situations is particularly important because it determines the overall relationship with our loved ones. Often, even a small blunder in relation to a family member is felt by him as a severe insult. If we don't correct the mistake in time, this awkwardness can turn into a long-standing resentment.

Parents and children

Formerly the common rule was to address your parents in third person. Today, no one requires it anymore, and this custom has survived only among the older generation. However, children are still bound to show respect and obedience to their parents. The youngest should respect the bans and orders imposed on them. It is best if from an early age they help with household chores - first small ones, such as washing up, and with time they become more and more involved in taking care of the house. When going out to a friend or a party, the child should always inform the parents where they are going and when they will be back - even if they are 20 years old. As long as the young person lives in the family home, it is necessary to inform the loved ones about where he is going out. When a child brings home a friend or colleague, he is required to introduce them to their parents. It is an expression of respect not only for the caretakers, but also for the guest.

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Of course, adults should also behave properly in intercourseto children. Imposing one's will by force does not lead to anything good, but it can increase a child's rebellious tendencies. Instead of shouting, it is advisable to talk calmly, and if, despite the explanation, the consolation does not want to fulfill our requests, a rational punishment must be applied - for example, taking pocket money. It is also important to devote some free time to the child every day and be interested in his affairs - and this is not about casual questions like "what's up at school?", But a real commitment to the child's affairs.

You must know these savoir-vivre rules!

Grandparents

Older people deserve respect and understanding. Therefore, let us not show impatience or irritation when grandmother or grandfather once again complains about poor he alth. They probably have little opportunity to talk to someone close to them and they are looking for interest. Then we should show them concern, console, show them that they are important to us, even if it is difficult for us. If we don't have time to visit us, we should make calls at least from time to time. Ignoring the elderly and only taking care of your own affairs shows very badly for us.

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When talking to grandparents, it's always worth asking if they need something or if something can be done for them. It is very likely that, for example, making purchases on their own is a big problem for them.

Remember also about cultural behavior in public places - giving an older person a seat on the bus or shaking hands when getting on or off the bus.

Relationships with in-laws

Tradition calls for treating the husband's or wife's family as theirs, yet it is natural to distance themselves from their in-laws. In such relationships it is easy to cross the border of familiarity, although it also often happens that the son-in-law or daughter-in-law have too much reserve, which also does not facilitate contacts. Here are examples of how to get out of the most embarrassing situations.

How to address your in-laws?

"Mom", "Dad", "Mr.", "Lady", or maybe by name? It seems that neither of the solutions is perfect: "mom" and "dad" seem artificial and embarrassing to many people, because they are not as close to their parents-in-law as they are with their own family. On the other hand, "lord", "lady" sounds too formal, and speaking by name too directly. It is best if the in-laws themselves determine how they want to be addressed - then the easiest way to avoid awkwardness. If they do not propose a specific solution, there is nothing to prevent you from asking them about it. However, it has to be done in a nice, tactful way. Not by any meansyou should switch to "you" with your in-laws without prior agreement.

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What to do when there is a disagreement?

In-laws may have a different idea of ​​\ u200b \ u200bmaking a household or raising children. Often they do not hesitate to openly criticize our ideas and to instruct us. How to avoid a conflict in such a situation?

First, listen to your in-laws. Their advice can be really helpful, or at least worth considering. If we reject them firmly, it must be communicated in a specific, but calm and cultural way. It is also worth reassuring that, despite different opinions, we appreciate each advice. In-laws should respect our views and not go into further discussions. It would be a serious faux-pas in this situation to take offense and make excuses.

What to remember in everyday contacts?

On a daily basis, it is worth calling your in-laws regularly and inviting them to your place from time to time. This is a good opportunity to share what's going on at home and get to know each other better. On the occasion of the meeting, it is worth cooking something yourself and taking care of order. If we are visiting the mother-in-law, it is good to praise the culinary talent of the mother-in-law. A note about a nice dress or a new hairstyle will also be appreciated.

Important

Respect the child's right to privacy

Every family member, regardless of age, has the right to privacy. Parents of older children should not enter a closed room of their children without warning. It is unacceptable to read the child's private correspondence, view the contents of a computer or telephone (unless it is about safety, and not satisfying our own curiosity).

Savoir-vivre at family celebrations

At ceremonies such as weddings, receptions, baptisms or funerals, we meet long-unseen family members. Under these circumstances, it's a good idea to know etiquette to make a good impression. Here are the most important savoir-vivre rules for family celebrations.

Birth of a child

The appearance of a new family member is an event that cannot be ignored. When mom and toddler feel well, it is worth calling and giving congratulations. After they are at home, you can pay a visit, but you must make an appointment in advance. It is not appropriate to appear empty-handed at the meeting - giving your child a small gift, for example a rattle or a teddy bear, will certainly be appreciated.

Baptism

When choosing a baptism, remember to dress properly. It should not be an evening dress or anything extravagant, as this type of celebration involves attending a mass in the church. It is best to choose a classic, elegant outfit in subdued colors.

Godparents should provide a special gift that will remind the child of that important moment in his life which was baptism in the future. It can be a gold chain with a medallion or another piece of jewelry not necessarily of a religious nature. For example, it is very fashionable to present as gifts bracelets or pendants engraved with the child's name.

Wedding and reception

If we have received an invitation to a wedding, let's check immediately if the date of the ceremony does not conflict with our other obligations. If we cannot appear at the wedding, be sure to inform the organizers in advance.

There are no clearly defined rules when it comes to attire for weddings and receptions. However, it is worth remembering a few basic rules:

  • it is not appropriate for a woman to appear at the ceremony in a white dress - this color is considered to be reserved for the bride;
  • bold low-cut dresses, sequins and strong makeup are more suitable for a disco than a wedding - it's better to put on something extraordinary, but with class;
  • witnesses should arrange their outfits with the bride and groom in advance, so that they do not overshadow the young people with their appearance, and their clothes match each other in terms of color and style.

You should be on time at church and, if you are late, take a seat as quietly as possible in order not to make a fuss. After the wedding ceremony is over, we approach the bride and groom and make our best wishes. It is also a good time to give flowers and a wedding gift. If we recognize someone from the family in the crowd, don't hesitate to come, say hello and talk.

When having a wedding, it is not good to overdo it with alcohol - it can discredit us not only in the eyes of the bride and groom, but also the rest of the guests, a large part of which is our own family. For a few hours, let's also exclude the reflex to criticize everything, even if we have reservations about the organization of the wedding. It is very rude to comment on the appearance of the bride, complaining about food or music.

When getting ready to leave, remember to send your wishes again and thank the newlyweds and their parents for inviting them. Leaving the wedding "in secret" without informing the organizers is a huge bluff.

Funeral

During the funeral, we must wear dark, preferably black clothes. We wear this color as a sign of mourning and to respect the feelings of the deceased's relatives. Bright clothing is unacceptable, so even if we do not have anything suitable in the wardrobe, it is better to buy or borrow someone else's outfit appropriate for such a ceremony.

You should bring a bunch of flowers with you to the funeral. Its size is determined by the relationship between us and the deceased - if it was a person with whom we had poor contact, bringing sumptuous wreaths may be perceived as a manifestation of excessive ex altation.

It is very important that you approach the deceased's loved ones after the ceremony and express your sympathy. Do not try to comfort yourself, which in such situations may sound artificial and, instead of encouraging you, may offend the bereaved family members. Instead, it's worth being honest and saying something from yourself - something that comes from the bottom of our heart. If we really do not think of anything and are afraid of awkwardness, you can always simply say "I feel deeply sorry" or "accept my sincere sympathy."

Category:

Psychology