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A gift is a sign of a relationship, a symbol of emotional closeness. It is worth the effort to give gifts to your loved ones and see true joy on their faces. How do you choose your gifts? What are you guided by? Maybe it is very difficult for you? Can you accept gifts? As it turns out, it's also not an easy art.

Think about it,How do you buy gifts ? Are you buyinggifthastily without paying much attention to it? Do you celebrate your purchase by carefully thinking about what a specific person would enjoy? Some choose neutral gifts, others fun, personal, practical, others symbolic or sentimental.

What are gifts?

Giving gifts not only from Christmas is accompanied by many feelings and motives. There are altruistic gifts in return for which nothing is expected. There are also those whose goal is the potential profit of the giver. Bronisław Malinowski, an ethnologist and social anthropologist, called this diversity the economic dimension of the gift. According to the researcher, gifts are most often given to the loved ones selflessly, and the further up in the kinship hierarchy, the more likely it is to expect a rematch.

British anthropologist Mary Douglas believes that there are no disinterested gifts, because reciprocity is always expected, although it does not have to be equivalent, as in the case of children (according to research, they get up to 7 times more gifts than they give themselves) ) or people with a lower social status. In primitive communities, accepting a gift implies a commitment to repay the recipient. According to some theories of social psychology, a person who cannot return a gift, feels indebted and inferior, has a feeling that he is in the power of the giver.

What kind of gifts do we like to buy?

Most of us (about 80%) give Christmas gifts. According to the TNS OBOP report, more than half of Poles try to make Christmas gifts unexpected. We give our loved ones practical gifts more often than those that are not necessarily useful, but pleasurable. We also prefer practical gifts. 40 percent of us buy cosmetics as a gift, 39 percent - sweets, 24 percent - Clothes. Toys for the youngest (33%) constitute a large pool of gifts. The top five most popular giftsbooks close (18 percent). Only 8 percent. Poles give cash, and 6 percent each. - movies and music (DVD, CD, Blu-ray) as well as jewelry and watches. The top ten is closed with sports equipment and accessories related to home and kitchen furnishings (4% of Poles each).

What kind of gifts do we like to receive?

And does what we buy coincide with what we like to receive under the Christmas tree? It turns out that the differences are considerable. The first places in our letters to St. Nicholas is occupied by cosmetics and perfumes (75% of Poles would like to find them under the Christmas tree) as well as clothes and sweets (62% each), but not much less dreams of jewelry and watches (55%, and only 6% of Poles will buy them) . As many as half of us (53%) would like to find cash or gift vouchers and gift cards under the Christmas tree (54% in the group of 30-49-year-olds). The most gift preferences and reality are different in the case of younger Poles (15-29 years old), who would like to receive mobile phones - 71%, MP3 players - 63%, tablets and computer equipment - 61% each, RTV equipment - 57%. and photographic equipment - 56 percent, but most homes do not find them under the Christmas tree.

There are no perfect gifts, intentions count

gifts are free and spontaneous expressions of affection. They often reflect the relationship between the giver and the recipient, and indicate their emotional ties. The basic sense of giving gifts is the desire to please a loved one, to prove that we think about them, we try to read their desires and make their dreams come true. Sometimes gifts are a symbol of respect or appreciation, or an expression of gratitude. Sometimes they bring back fond memories. They make us feel important. And their objective value is not always important, because the associatedsymbolic value .

However, sometimes the gifts also hide some expectations towards the other person. For example, a mixer given to a wife may indicate that the husband expects her to take more care of the kitchen; underwear or perfumes may suggest that it enhances its femininity; learning aids for a child may suggest that they contribute to learning a specific subject.

In search of the perfect gift

First of all, you need to have some knowledge about a given person, know their interests. It is worth considering what she needs, what would make her truly happy (maybe, for example, her husband has been dreaming about a new watch or a fishing set for years, and you give him shirts and ties every Christmas). Does it seem difficult? Not necessarily. All you have to do is observe your loved ones, listen to what they have to say, readbetween the lines what they want to tell us. And when choosing a gift, always think about their (not your own!) Preferences.

A special type of gifts are those made by yourself (e.g. a hand-embroidered napkin for mom, an album with photos of children and grandchildren for grandma and grandpa), because in addition to being unique, they show that we put a lot of work and hearts into their preparation. And this is probably the best proof of our memory of our loved ones. Sometimes it is she who has a much greater value for the recipient than the gift itself.

It is worth remembering that a gift that is too expensive or too cheap, too personal or too personal may cause embarrassment (e.g. an expensive gift may raise the suspicion that the giver has a purpose, wants to persuade us or oblige us; too cheap may be considered a manifestation of avarice). Sometimes, despite our good intentions, we can also offend someone with our gift, because it may be misunderstood (e.g. a set of elegant soaps may be read as a suggestion to take more care of hygiene).

The joy of giving and receiving - how to enjoy your gifts?

Giving is an important part of human interaction. gifts show the other person that we remember them and wish them well. According to psychologists, most of us like to give gifts to our loved ones, and at the same time have trouble accepting gifts ( although there are also those who find it easier to accept gifts than give them).

Few people are able to spontaneously accept gifts with adequate gratitude, except for children who manifest their joy without inhibitions. Usually adults enjoy moderately, sometimes raising doubts in the giver as to whether the gift was hit or not. Comments like: "it wasn't necessary", "what for?" they can further intensify such feelings. We usually hide as if we don't recognize that giving us can be important to the other person. We also feel that we do not deserve a gift or any special treatment.

And there's nothing wrong with getting gifts. Let's not forget that someone enjoys buying us gifts. It works both ways! Therefore, give to loved ones in accordance with your needs and knowledge about them, but at the same time give them the right to give you gifts.

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Category:

Psychology