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Our 7 golden tips will help you in a stress-free entry into new roles.
1. Let your mom be mom.
You are an adult and independent, but she still sees you as a little girl. Now - though it is hard to believe - her feelings for you grow even stronger. She knows what you experienced in the delivery room, she knows that you don't sleep through the night and your breasts hurt from breastfeeding. You are her baby girl and she would like to relieve you of all this, but it is impossible. So sometimes she is overly protective and speaks to you as if you were a baby. Forgive her and understand.
2. Let her enjoy her grandson, but set limits.
Grandparents, especially grandmothers, have an irresistible urge to pamper their grandchildren. They would like to carry them on their hands all the time, entertain them, let them do anything, as long as the baby does not cry. But you are the mother, you know your baby best and you set the rules of conduct. Tell your mom - tactfully and calmly - what you don't want and how you want to raise your baby.
3. Don't call her "grandma".
She is still primarily your mom. Watching you hold your baby in your arms, he sees himself and you from 20 or 30 years ago. When you call her "grandma" affectionately, she may be embarrassed. Not because it adds to her age, and yet she still feels like an attractive woman. And not because he is not happy with the grandson. She is happy and proud, but has to get used to her new role.
4. Don't lecture your daughter and shower her with good advice.
Although you probably know more about caring for a child than she does, remember that your own experience gives the most. A daughter must learn to feed, overweight, carry or calm her baby by herself. He will probably make many mistakes (you did them too!), But he will definitely not hurt the child.
5. Don't organize her life.
Don't say: "Today I will come and give your baby a bath" or "I'll iron this pile of clothes for you." It's as if you want to keep the reins in her life and imply that she can't get along without you. Say that you will be happy to help, but it is up to the daughter to decide when she needs this help most.
6. Make regular calls and ask what's going on, but don't bother yourself with frequent visits.
Mom is loved, indispensable, irreplaceable, but sometimes it is good to miss her. Also, remember that not all of your visits need to be welcomed. After all, your daughter has her own lifeplans, and may also feel controlled.
7. Support her and be proud of her.
Look at your baby: she is a brave, wonderful woman and tries so hard to be a good mother. Tell her that. Remember what it was like with you - all those fears and concerns about taking good care of your own child. You needed words of encouragement then. Your little girl needs them very much, and she should hear them from you.monthly "M jak mama"