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I'm 21 and fed up with, or so it seems to me, an unusual problem. Well, I have always been told that I have to learn to achieve something. I finished the technical school as the best, most versatile graduate and went to extramural studies and work. Since then, I feel guilty about… not learning. I buy a lot of books (mainly language ones), I learn often, and when I start, I sit in the books for hours. It may be hard to believe, but it poisons my life. When I take the day off and meet my friends, I feel enormously guilty that I have done nothing to increase my knowledge. Sometimes it tires me to the point where I dream it. My desk is already bending under the books, and I am more and more broken when I see that I will not be able to learn all this in a short time. It tires me all the more because I have a bad job and I think that I am too hopeless, that I know too little to achieve anything in my life. When someone in college knows more and I'm not the best, I fall into a mental depression for at least a few days and I get agonized about it. I remember all the wrong answers to some questions. How can I explain something to someone in the same way. What should I do with it?

Determination in acquiring knowledge and striving for development is an extremely valuable feature, however, when you feel yourself that the consequences of the need for continuous learning negatively affect you, it would be worth working through this difficulty. You mention that this behavior is strongly related to self-esteem, and the belief that you need to learn results from "persuading" you to do so. The reflections on the mistakes you have described or the frequent need to compare yourself to others usually end in a low mood.

First of all, it is worth taking a look at why you really want to keep developing? What is it for? What does it give you? What is your need behind it? I encourage you to look at the foundations of your self-esteem and not to underestimate the problems with sleep that bother you as a result of the excess described above. Consultation with a psychologist can be effective in dealing with the described difficulties and negative consequences that they bring in so many areas of your life. In safe conditions of the office under the supervision of a specialistit will be easier for you to come to constructive solutions and change your behavior.

Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.

Dominika Ambroziewicz-Wnuk

Psychologist, personal development trainer.

For 20 years she has been working with teenagers, young adults and their carers. Supports people who experience school and relational difficulties, adolescence disorders and teenage parents

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