I was 12 years old when he sexually molested me. Sometimes several times a week. At school: a popular, handsome boy. In the house: monster. This was my older brother. I had no one to look for help from. I only felt happy and safe when I was eating. My name is Marty Enokson and I am a Canadian obesity advocate. Are you staring at my big body in disgust? What do you know about obesity …?

Edmonton in Canada

This is where I was born (in 1967), raised and still live. We were 5 siblings. My mother, who has struggled with obesity all her life, managed the home and family as best she could. She liked to live in chaos, so we lived in chaos with her. When she couldn't handle us, she abused us mentally and physically. She showed her love by eating. She fed us often, fat, sweet and s alty.

Trapped

As a teenager, I tried to fit in with my peers. I wanted to be like my brother who was not much older than me. He was handsome, athletic, and popular. Although I was bigger than him, I was not as fit and physically strong as he is. When I was 12 my brother sexually molested me. Sometimes even several times a week. I have not complained. My brother successfully closed my mouth with blackmail. He threatened to tell about everything at the school we attended together. He threatened to tell people that I wanted it myself. They would believe him. He was their idol and I was the school's outcast.

So I was silent and my brother became more and more audacious and brutal. He not only sexually abused me, but also terrorized me and bullied me physically, emotionally and verbally. Every morning I was afraid of what the new day would bring. There were times when I prayed for death not to live to see the next day.

I went to school fearfully and my brother did his best to humiliate me even more. He was calling me names in front of other kids. It's not hard to guess that they have started doing it too. With and without my brother. Hell, you can't imagine how ingenious my torturers were, what phrases they made up to humiliate me. I was the school's laughing stock that could be bullied with impunity. And the worst were those who played sports. They loved to take it out on sucha sad, lost, awkward kid like me. With time, my torturers were no longer satisfied with insults. I have experienced many brutal physical attacks.

The more I was hurt, the more I started to change. I was getting more and more depressed, withdrawn, avoiding people as much as I could. I felt like a trapped animal. I knew my brother was hurting me, but I didn't know who to turn to for help. Even to my parents. I was sure my brother would disown everything, and they would believe him, not me.

Salvation

Food became my salvation. I have eaten, eaten and eaten. Eating gave me peace and a sense of security. I ate to get rid of this incredible pain that was inside me.

So I was leaving my school hell as soon as I could to hide in my bedroom. And I cried. I cried as I waited first for lunch and then for dinner, hoping that the food would comfort me. I ate three portions for dinner and smuggled sandwiches into my bedroom to eat before falling asleep. And in the evenings I would go to a nearby store, buy a bottle of cola, a bag of potato chips and a bar of chocolate, and then eat it all behind closed bedroom doors looking for consolation in these "favors". And so every day …

Food was the only thing that made me feel good. And every night I fell asleep hoping that when I woke up I would be slim, happy, liked, invited to parties. I fell asleep hoping that my obesity was just a cruel, sleepy joke.

During the day, I relived my trauma, and food brought relief. I fell into a vicious circle. I ate to console myself and not feel this overwhelming inner pain. When I was eating I felt incredibly well, almost euphoric. And when I finished eating, I felt guilty and depressed, so I ate again to feel better.

On drugs

We didn't have to wait long for the effects of such a "diet". I started gaining weight quickly. Soon I stopped fitting into my clothes. By the time I was 14, I was already around 91 kg (200 lb) and my back was still there. When I started attending high school after high school, I saw my brother less and less. At least at school. At home, he still did not spare me …

When I was 17 I weighed about 136 kg (300 lb). I desperately needed someone to pull me out of this vicious cycle and help me lose weight. However, I did not know where to look for such help. My mother, who had struggled with obesity all her life, saw that I was getting fat, but said nothing. So I fought alone. I've tried all the diets that were just getting fashionable. I squeezedSeventh sweats practicing aerobics with Jane Fonda. I would put my big bum on the stationary bike and pedal madly until I lost my breath and strength. And at night, to soothe my pain, I still ate.

My mother and sister started taking slimming pills. When they started to lose weight, I let myself be persuaded and started taking them as well. I lost about 32 kg (70 lb) in 5 months. It was like a miracle for me! But… ! During these 5 months, because of fear that I would get fat again, I stopped eating at all. And as soon as hunger appeared, the doctor prescribed me stronger and stronger tablets in higher and higher doses. As a result, not only did I not eat, but also did not sleep and did not think. Learning turned out to be a nightmare for me because I couldn't concentrate. I fell apart … I was 17 years old and addicted to diet pills. Sexual assaults continued …

Hunger Revenge

My brother left me alone after he finished school and moved out of our family home. I was left with a sense of harm and an enormous weight that grew from month to month. Because when, after 5 months of the "pill diet", I came to my senses and stopped taking medications, the hunger returned. And it was so big I literally couldn't stop eating.

Before I graduated from high school, I gained 32 kg and another over 30 kg. This was the revenge of hunger for trying to kill him. I weighed about 159 kg (350 lb) when I graduated from high school, and I couldn't even get my degree in a traditional school gown because they weren't that big for me. I did not go to the graduation ball out of shame. Nor did I have any friends who cared about my presence. I felt incredibly lonely.

Relief was still bringing me food. I drank huge amounts of crisps and chocolate with cola. I drank up to 15 liters of it a day. I started and ended each day with a Coke. I no longer had control of what I eat and what I drink. I slowly began to realize how great a guy I am. And it wasn't just about clothes that I couldn't buy in regular stores, but a lot of other things that other people did. Over time, from approximately 159 kg (350 lb) to approximately 181 kg (400 lb), and then to approximately 204 kg (450 lb).

Kick from fate

On July 7, 2005, everything changed… I was 38 at the time and weighed about 215 kg (475 lb). Then fate gave me another proverbial kick. This time his strength pushed me in the right direction. And it happened in Calgary (Canada). I went there with my friends for a party. I was jogging on the dance floor as much as my 200-kilogram body would allow me, when suddenly I felt very bad. The doctor who examined me then said that I went through the microstroke.

I went back to Edmonton and found the courage to finally speak to my GP. The doctor diagnosed me with high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, heart disease and many other he alth problems. For all diseases and ailments, I took 14 medications in the form of 50 tablets every day. I regularly visited doctors of several speci alties and underwent further medical examinations. If I could do them at all. Many medical institutions sent me back, explaining that their devices would not support me, that they would tear or break underneath me. "Sorry, you are too fat" - I heard in many hospitals and swallowed tears of shame. To get an MRI, I had to travel to a town 300 km away from my home town of Edmonton.

Waiting for a new life

Yes, that micro-stroke was my awakening. I desperately wanted to make a difference in my life, so I listened to the doctors. They suggested that I undergo bariatric surgery. I agreed, so they put me on the Canadian Adult Bariatric Clinic. But since the queue for the surgery was very long, I decided to lose weight first, without surgery.

I forgot about cola and chips, changed my food and started to walk more. I even went up to 6.5 kilometers a day (4 miles). Unfortunately, my knee and hip joints literally buckled under my weight. My attempt to improve my he alth and lose weight resulted in another physical suffering and depression. In order to bear the pain and live normally, I started taking more medications.

New Marty

On July 16, 2007, with a pedometer in one hand and a nutrition diary in the other, I started the official preparations for the bariatric surgery. I was accompanied by a team of he alth professionals who supported me at every step. I'll be honest - I had great successes and great failures during this time. In October 2008, I reached my highest weight - around 230 kg (505 lb). I was 42 at the time. Finally, after 18 months of participating in the bariatric program, on January 13, 2009, Dr. Birch and his surgical team performed bariatric surgery on me and saved my life.

In 10 years after surgery, I lost about 68 kg (150 lb). Now I weigh approximately 172 kg (380 lb). Thanks to the surgery, my stomach is smaller, but in times of stress, sadness, I sometimes look for consolation in eating. Therefore, although I feel much happier, every day of my life is a fight with the disease. Bariatric surgery is not an "easy solution" or "shortcut" as I have been told many times. It is a method of treatment that requires great responsibility from the patient. Notthink that after the surgery you will lose all your excess weight, you will become thin and you will be able to eat everything as much as you did before the surgery. You must understand that the operation is the beginning of a new life, but also a new nutrition.

You are not alone!

I am human. I am an educated man. I work in a law firm and I deal with very difficult criminal cases. I am a single father with two children - a 28-year-old son and a 20-year-old daughter. And I'm… a DJ. I am not lazy. I'm not a glutton. It hurts when people look at me in disgust. It hurts me when I hear insults directed at me. I am a human. A man suffering from obesity.

My obesity journey is a real roller coaster. I know I will be obese for the rest of my life, so I'm prepared to never leave this crazy roller coaster. But when people ask if I would change something - I answer: no. Why? Because I believe that everything that happens to us happens for a reason. I really believe that I had to endure my illness and all the humiliations in order to now stand in front of people like me, share my experiences with them and comfort them: look, you are not alone!

Before assessing an obese person …

The obesity disease affects more than half of the world's population - including many children. You do not believe? Look around you? Who of your relatives has the greater body weight? Maybe it's your father, maybe your mother, maybe your partner, wife, husband, sister, cousin, maybe your best friend? Now admit to yourself how many times have you laughed at someone for being fat? How many times have you pointed your fingers at him, loudly commented on his overweight, made a laughingstock together with others …? And now I have this request: before you do it again, think about how someone in your family, your friend, would feel in such a situation? And remember my story. Because you have no idea why someone fell ill with obesity and how difficult it is for them to live with this disease.

Marty Enokson : (52), Ombudsman for people with obesity in Canada, currently: Chairman of the Board of Directors of the European Coalition for People Living with Obesity, European Society for the Study of Obesity. Since his bariatric surgery, he has repeatedly told his story to thousands of people in Canada, Europe, and around the world. He has the courage to keep recalling these painful memories, because he believes that thanks to his story, people will understand that obesity is not a free human choice, but a complex disease that affects us from manyreasons.

Important

Poradnikzdrowie.pl supports safe treatment and a dignified life of people suffering from obesity. This article does not contain discriminatory and stigmatizing content of people suffering from obesity.

Magdalena Gajda A specialist in obesity disease and obesity discrimination of people with diseases. President of the OD-WAGA Foundation of People with Obesity, Social Ombudsman for the Rights of People with Obesity in Poland and a representative of Poland in the European Coalition for People Living with Obesity. By profession - a journalist specializing in he alth issues, as well as a PR, social communication, storytelling and CSR specialist. Privately - obesity since childhood, after bariatric surgery in 2010. Starting weight - 136 kg, current weight - 78 kg.

Category:

Obesity