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Ghosting, mooning, caspering or zombieing and benching - at first glance, for most people, these terms are completely foreign, but it turns out that in fact the majority of modern young adults have come across these phenomena. They concern interpersonal relationships and the people who are their addressees usually experience considerable discomfort, and sometimes even suffering because of it. Find out what the dating trends listed above are, read what their causes might be, and find out what they might lead to.

Ghosting, casperingormooningare behaviors that some young dating people have encountered. What are they?

Ghosting, that is, it was, and then it washed off

Often times, a girl or a boy will manage to tell their friends how they found a wonderful person, with whom they exchange messages or spend time well, and then … this person completely disappears as if he had fallen underground. He does not reply to messages, he deletes the profile from a given social application, it is impossible to meet him in any way. Ghosting is a problem in which one of the dating people suddenly completely breaks off contact with the other person.

Caspering, that is, I will answer, but not immediately

Caspering is considered a form of ghosting and it can even cause consternation in its addressee. Here, the other party replies to messages, but he does it with a long delay, after several hours or even after a few days. Theoretically, the contact between two people is, in practice … there is no contact.

Mooning, or hidden ignorance

Mooning is used by different people - sometimes they are people who are fed up with their admirers, because they simply torment them with messages, sometimes it is used by people who want to let the other person know that they are not interested in contacting them .

Mooning is based on the fact that, for example, notifications from a conversation with another person are muted - theoretically, they reach the addressee, but there is little chance that he will ever get to know them.

Zombieing, or when the echo of the past returns

Zombieing is considered to beone of the cruelest dating trends - it hurts especially when it happens between two people who once shared some strong feelings.

We can talk about zombieing when a long time elapses from breaking contacts - weeks or months - until finally one of the people receives a seemingly innocent message from the other (e.g. "what's up" or "I hope that everything you're fine ").

Benching, i.e. the need to have someone "for"

Benching is compared to holding someone on a hook - the first person doesn't really care about the second one, but due to the fact that you never know if someone better will come, contact is maintained. It is not regular, but the occasional exchange of messages is to maintain the relationship "just in case".

Haunting, or don't forget that I exist

Haunting is another annoying dating trend, also for people who have theoretically severed contact with each other. It consists in the fact that one person - seemingly - lets the other know that he is still interested in him in a way. She clicks "I like it" next to her posts on social networks, displays her Instagram stories, and at the same time doesn't do it to just write a regular message.

Cushioning, or quick "replacement" of the second half

Cushioning is a phenomenon that occurs in busy people - it is compared to a soft landing. It is when the person in the relationship is flirting with some other person at the time. Usually, this flirting is rather innocent, but it is aimed at - in the event of a breakdown of the current relationship - a quick transition to the next relationship.

Also read:

Tinder: what is this app and how does it work?

What is Snapchat and why do we use it?

Emotional betrayal: how to orientate?

What happens in your body when you fall in love?

Where are the modern dating trends coming from?

The main reason why modern dating and relationships between young people is what they are is that it is simply … that we find it harder and harder to communicate with each other.

For example, ghosting or caspering comes from the fact that people cannot say unequivocally that nothing will come out of a given relationship. There are various reasons for this - sometimes the person who wants to end communication is afraid of hurting the other person, and sometimes he does not want to be the "bad guy" - so it is easier to just expect that the recipient of the earlier messages himselfwill understand what's going on.

Benching and cushiong can be presented by people who are especially afraid of loneliness. In the past, attempts were made to repair relationships rather than break them off right away, today, unfortunately, breakups are the order of the day. It is the fear of being single even for a moment that leads to the fact that some people always try to have someone around them who will replace their current partner in the event of a breakup.

Yet another is the underlying cause of one of these trends that is associated with the most difficult emotions - zombieing. It is characteristic of those people who are in an interrupted relationship.

On the one hand, the relationship has ended, on the other hand, the partners still feel something towards each other - sometimes one of the people would like to come back, but she cannot say it directly and prefers to "accost" her earlier partner, hoping that it would he will take the initiative and they will eventually get back together.

What could be the ramifications of today's dating trends?

It would seem that the described dating trends - which mainly concern the virtual world - should not lead to any threats, but in practice it is completely different.

They can result in various problems, both for people who experience them and for those who use them themselves. A person who repeatedly encounters ghosting or caspering may eventually lose faith in people and after some time it may even be very difficult for him to enter into a he althy, properly formed relationship.

People who are trying to forget about old times and start a new life, experiencing zombieing or haunting can effectively hinder and be a source of even suffering - in connection with these seemingly innocent messages or signals showing some interest of the other person , they may simply feel considerable suffering.

How to deal with modern dating trends?

First of all, it is worth knowing them, because it will allow us to recognize them quickly - it is difficult to establish a good relationship with someone who uses the dating trends described. The most important thing, however, is to try to avoid taking advantage of these trends yourself - remember that the most between two people can be built simply by talking and clearly communicating your needs, problems and expectations.

About the authorBow. Tomasz NęckiA graduate of medicine at the Medical University of Poznań. An admirer of the Polish sea (most willingly strolling along its shores with headphones in his ears), cats and books. At work with patientsfocusing on always listening to them and spending as much time as they need.

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Category:

Psychology