Energy vampire - While this wording sounds funny, people who are energy vampires receive (or even siphon off) the good mood from the people around them, focusing all their attention on themselves. That is why it is worth knowing who an energy vampire is, how to recognize him and how to defend against him.

Energy vampiremakes us feel weakened, sad, with no hope of implementing any plans - after a long stay in his presence, convinced that there is no point in taking any action, for they are doomed to failure anyway. Although it may also happen that depending on the type ofenergy vampire(we will talk about this division below), this person does not have to make us feel worse, but the confrontation with her always deprives us of our strength . Some people who have de alt withenergy vampiremay even develop somatic symptoms: headache, excessive sleepiness, abdominal pain. Probably everyone has had to deal with an energy vampire - but it is easier to endure one-time or occasional meetings with such a person than being with him every day. And yet an energy vampire can be even the closest person.

Who is an energy vampire?

An energy vampire is someone you cannot count on at all, who does not provide any support, on the contrary - sucks all of your energy out of the other person. He constantly expects to be comforted, motivated, to say that he is good, intelligent, that he can do it, or - humbly accept his boasting. It makes him feel better, but the trouble is that those others, after talking to the energy vampire, feel tired themselves.

The energy vampire can act consciously - then it is especially difficult to live with him, because such a person deliberately uses his interlocutors, often close people, for his purposes: he manipulates them, spreading rumors, even bombarding them with his comments, constantly demanding that they be placed yourself in the spotlight. Other energy vampires, the unconscious ones, are completely unaware of their self-centeredness. They consider themselves always aggrieved, they attribute bad intentions to what other people do to hurt a vampire - such a person thinksfor example, that her colleagues who have gone out to the office kitchen are sure to talk her over, she is often angry with the whole world: she thinks that the weather or even dead things have conspired against her. He is constantly looking for interest in his person in others.

Energy vampires - apart from the division into conscious and unconscious ones - can also be grouped according to the tactics they choose in their actions.

How to recognize an energy vampire?

You will recognize the energy vampire not only by the fact that after meeting him you feel much worse than a few hours ago, but also by the way he makes you feel worse, leads to fatigue and irritation. Dr. Albert J. Bernstein, a clinical psychologist, divided these people into 5 groups:

1. Vampire - actor

With these kinds of energy vampires, almost always what you see is not what you will get. They will do anything to gain acceptance and recognition, in addition to keeping their promises. They care so much about presenting themselves in a good light that they will hide every part of themselves that could cause their condemnation: they hide their anger, they do not say what their sexuality is, they attribute their faults to others. These people never get angry, but they show their contempt for others easily. This type of energy vampire includes, for example, stereotypical old ladies who go to church every Sunday, but are also the first to "throw a stone" at their fellow man.

2. Vampire - asocial hedonist

His name is not because he doesn't like to party or be with other people, but because he doesn't respect social norms. Energy vampire who is an antisocial hedonist loves great exits, often uses stimulants, gets involved in one-night-long adventures. Hates when nothing happens. He torments the people around him with immediate reports of what he is hearing, without any interest in what the other person has to say. He lies, cheats, gossips, just to keep his mind in a state of constant tension. He does not take into account the consequences of his actions and words that may affect third parties.

3. Vampire - Narcissus

As Dr. Bernstein says, narcissists have a huge ego and a tiny conscience. They are usually unaware vampires - they don't intentionally try to hurt other people, they "just" don't take them into account in their actions. Unless they want something from them. When they finally get it, don't count on hearing a thank you from them. Narcissists blame others for their failures, for not being able to take full advantage of their genius. Vampire typeenergy - narcissist are all those uncles who for years, of course, through no fault of their own, are unable to keep a job.

4. Obsessive Compulsive Vampire

This is called detailers, perfectionists. They can see the smallest trifles, but cannot see all of these trifles. They do not accept anyone who is not as accurate as they are (in their opinion, almost no one grows up to this level). The obsessive-compulsive type is always right and feels satisfied when others around you get nervous or stressed. They are control freaks who want to control everything and everyone. This type of energy vampire includes both the tyrannical parent and the mobbing boss at work.

5. Paranoid vampire

He is a visionary who seeks the Truth - he sees things that others do not notice. The only question is whether these things really exist. A paranoid vampire is very confident in himself and his beliefs, and at the same time full of distrust towards other people and their views. He is driven by prejudices, there is a conspiracy everywhere. This type of vampire includes people who believe in various strange overheard theories, but also, for example, jealous partners.

How to defend yourself against an energy vampire?

1. Defense against the vampire - actor

In the case of a vampire - an actor, the best way is not to join the "drama" he plays - it's better to remain an observer than join the cast in his show. The actor likes it when it happens, even, especially when someone else is wrong - he asks questions, torments the unfortunate - it's best not to enter into a deeper relationship with him at all, not to be drawn into confessions. Respond in short sentences and dose information sparingly. Sometimes, unfortunately, for the so-called For peace of mind, it is better to praise the vampire for something, because he expects it very much, and he will stop tormenting us at the same time.

2. Defense against the vampire - anti-social hedonist

The antisocial hedonist is just waiting to flood himself with often untrue information about himself. That is why you cannot lose your vigilance even for a moment in its vicinity. It's best to listen to it carefully and not fall for the smile stuck to your face and promise that "it's not a rumor, but 100% true". The antisocial hedonist likes to involve others in his plot, some trick. In such cases, you should definitely refuse.

With some energy vampires, the only way to help yourself is to break contact with them.

3. Defense against the vampire - narcissist

The best defense against a narcissist iscommunicating to him directly, in a calm and not emotional voice that his behavior, words may have hurt us or we feel them as harmful. This self-deprecating person might not even notice it … If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, try to emphasize that working on him belongs to both of you and that all the blame for the misunderstandings is not on your side.

4. Defense Against Obsessive Compulsive Vampires

Living with a person who wants to constantly control others is not the easiest thing to do. Unfortunately, the more we succumb to our partner's domination, the more he tries to indulge in. A person in a relationship with an obsessive-compulsive vampire begins to feel suppressed, and the feeling of underestimating, lack of space for himself accumulates inside and often eventually explodes. So it is much better to tell your partner about your feelings earlier - the less you agree to his domination, the less frequent the vampire's attempts to control it.

It should be clearly bounded - do not say: "I agree to do it against my will, only for you". It only leads to a feeling of lower value in the person who utters the words, and it strengthens the vampire's sense of control.

5. Defense Against the Paranoid Vampire

The best defense against a paranoid vampire is not to enter into any discussions of worldview issues with him. He will certainly try to impose his point of view and point out mistakes in the one we profess. At the same time, no arguments presented to him will reach him. He will probably turn them against the people who formulate them. Therefore, it is best to nip any attempts at discussion in the bud and direct the conversation to safe topics.

Category:

Psychology