We have been together with my fiancé for 5 years. everything is fine, but he has always had erection problems, despite his age of 28. Most of the time, she doesn't feel like having sex with me. I've tried everything - boosters, romantic moods, provocative clothes, underwear, but unfortunately nothing works for him. I am devastated, I do not turn him on at all, although he claims that he loves me very much. I feel unattractive and I can't stand it anymore. Any conversation with him about it only makes things worse. I am afraid that he has some kind of mental block, because he has never had any problems with other partners, on the contrary - he could have made love non-stop. Sometimes it works with me too, but it is always me who initiates the rapprochement and I have to dominate and do a lot to succeed. It's humiliating to ask for sex that doesn't work out often anyway … I don't feel like a woman anymore … Is the problem with me? What else can I do?
There can be many reasons for not wanting sex in men. After excluding biological factors, there are a number of psychological causes that may be influencing your relationship to be considered.
Biological causes
1. hormone level disturbances - too low testosterone level causes a decrease in libido 2. some diseases (e.g. depression, diabetes, hypertension) 3. taking certain medications (e.g. antidepressants)
Psychological factors:
1. fatigue with everyday problems, overwork, body weakness
2. self-esteem problems as a man
3. conflicts in the relationship, unexplained quarrels, regrets, grievances, overly dominant partner and withdrawn, submissive partner.
Please consider if any of these factors could affect your life. It would also be worth visiting a sexologist. If the partner does not agree to it, go to it yourself. However, it is important that you still think of yourself as an attractive woman - usually such problems do not result from the partner's level of attractiveness.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Magdalena Krzak (Bogdaniuk)
Psychologist, psychotherapist, clinical sexologist and forensic sexologist. She has a Clinical Sexologist Certificate, awarded by PolishSociety of Sexology, after completing full specialization in clinical sexology in Warsaw and a certificate of a forensic sexologist. He deals with the treatment of sexual disorders in women and men. He works both individually and with couples. She conducts psychotherapy for victims of sexual violence. He conducts diagnostics and psychological support for transsexual people.
More advice from this expert
Contraception after pregnancy [Expert advice]No tender kisses [Expert Advice]Not wanting to have sex [Expert Advice]No desire for sex [Expert's tip]No orgasm [Expert Advice]Lack of arousal during sex [Expert Advice]Failure to ejaculate [Expert Advice]What to do when your partner fails or you have sex? [Expert advice]Can neurosis affect erection? [Expert advice]How To Stop Premature Ejaculation? [Expert advice]How to focus on sex? [Expert advice]How to save a marriage? [Expert advice]Masturbation - yes or no? [Expert advice]Masturbation and Sex [Expert Advice]Masturbation in a relationship [Expert Advice]Small penis circumference [Expert Advice]Husband and Internet Pornography [Expert Advice]The husband doesn't want to make love [Expert's tip]I cannot communicate with my husband [expert advice]Low male libido [Expert Advice]Concerns [Expert Advice]He withers too quickly [Expert's tip]Confidence of the past and jealousy of the partner [Expert's tip]Premature Ejaculation [Expert Advice]Triangle or maybe a quadrangle? [Expert advice]Addiction to Pornographic Movies [Expert Advice]Vagina Too Tight [Expert Advice]