We have been together for 4 years, we plan to live together. Some time ago, my partner's desire for sex started to fade away, despite the fact that it used to be without any problems. For half a year, I was the initiator of all intercourse, but for 1.5 years we have been making love sporadically (once a month / two / three). We have been living together for several months, which has not brought any change. The partner realizes that I need closeness, it is hard for me in this situation. I can see that he is doing everything he can to compensate me (cleans, cooks, etc.). He also tried to do something about it, but as he says - there is no desire, and that's it. The relationships that we have from time to time are unfortunately caused by the partner's remorse, because we talk about the relationship situation on an ongoing basis. Relationships do not bring satisfaction, they are quite "dry" (in the psychological sense of the word). During these two years we have de alt with financial and other problems, in everyday life we are (I think) happy, and nothing changes with physical love. The key element is that I am 21 and my partner is 24. I find it all the more awkward that at this age we have a problem of this nature. Can anything be done about it?
The reasons for the lack of desire for sex in men may be different: psychological, biological or may be related to existing diseases. Very often, the cause of a decrease in libido is simple stress and exhaustion, weakening of the body resulting from the rush of daily duties and problems. Another psychological cause may be conflicts in the relationship (unresolved quarrels, grievances, fears, fears).
In long-term relationships, boredom, everyday life, monotony usually appear - it is worth remembering to diversify your sex life (for example, buying sexy lingerie, changing sexual positions, lighting candles in the bedroom, or having sex in an unusual place). Biological causes are hormonal disorders (testosterone level disorders - rather, it concerns older men, but it is worth getting tested), diseases (diabetes, hypertension, depression), taking medications (e.g. antidepressants).
Additionally, these symptoms can be aggravated by drinking alcohol, taking drugs or smoking. If you still find it difficult to determine the cause, it would be worth going toa visit to a sexologist.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Magdalena Krzak (Bogdaniuk)
Psychologist, psychotherapist, clinical sexologist and forensic sexologist. He has a Clinical Sexologist Certificate, awarded by the Polish Society of Sexology, after completing full specialization in clinical sexology in Warsaw, and a Court Sexologist Certificate. He deals with the treatment of sexual disorders in women and men. He works both individually and with couples. She conducts psychotherapy for victims of sexual violence. He conducts diagnostics and psychological support for transsexual people.
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