Sexism - Many women have observed sexist behavior at work but have convinced themselves that it is really just a small thing or it just seems to them. They lacked the courage and tools to fight sexism. Jessica Bennett, author of Feminist Fight Club, gives concrete examples of sexism at work and suggests how to deal with a similar situation next time. Check it out!
Sexism at workis difficult to combat - in the boss-subordinate relationship, and even in the friendly woman who loudly says that she does not like her sexist behavior, it is sometimes considered to be the one that spoils the fun, because "what she means are just jokes". Fortunately, there are ways to curb these "jokes" - check out the ways Jessica Bennett developed based on her and many other women's experiences.
Sexism at work: meet your enemy
Enemy: Interruptor
A Brief Revision of Pop Culture History: Remember that moment in 2009 when Kanye West threw himself on stage at the MTV Video Music Awards, snatched the microphone from Taylor Swift's hands, and began his monologue? "I'll let you finish," assured the speechless Swift standing next to him. "But Beyoncé has the best music video of all time!"
Regardless of whether you agree with Kanye's assessment (or that he became the self-proclaimed spokesman for another strong woman), this is the best-remembered example of masculine-breakage (in this case, the cutter himself tried to collect the statuette on stage). for Best Female Clip).
The crowd of working women found Kanye's behavior strangely familiar. We only speak at meetings to hear a man's voice drown out. We join the conversation by presenting our idea - maybe a bit too hesitantly - and some guy interrupts in a voice that does not bear any objection.
We may have an idea, but he has better vocal cords. As a result, we fall silent, lose our confidence, or waive our rights to work. Research shows that interrupters really exist: men are more involved in professional meetings than women, they are more likely to break the word, and women are interrupted twice as often as men (both men and women do), and women are even more interrupted. aboutdifferent skin color. It's not just Taylor who has been deprived of her moment of glory.
Fighting methods
Verbal cock
This method is the verbal equivalent of two racing cars that accelerate to maximum speed until one of them (his) bounces violently to the side. Your job is to stay strong and keep talking as if nothing had happened. Take short breaks.
Keep up the pace. It doesn't matter if he waves his arms, raises his voice, squirms in his chair, keep talking. If you must, pretend you're deaf. It's worth it. This will help you prove your point. The problem is not to let him speak and at the same time act as if you were a refuge of peace in this room. Plus a look that says: "Don't even dare to interrupt me".
Feminoprotection
Sure, you can bite the breaker: "Bob, I'm not finished yet. Give me a second." But imagine for a moment that Beyoncé enters the stage where Kanye is just engrossed in Taylor interrupting, and interrupts him. This is what we call feminoprotection, or interrupting the interrupter on behalf of another woman.
If you hear your friend's idea that you think is good, support her: "Why don't you wait a moment and let her finish?" Whenever you see that a woman has trouble getting to the floor, cut in and ask her, "Nell, what do you think?" You will achieve a better effect than you expect and you will present yourself as a person who knows how to work in a group.
Lean over it (literally) In one study, researchers found that in meetings, men more than women bend over (physically) at the table and therefore have less interruptions4. (Former president Lyndon B. Johnson was famous for his stooped stance.)
Other methods of grabbing physical space when you have something important to say include: sitting at the table instead of at the back of the room, pointing to someone standing, placing your hand on the table, or making eye contact.
Bonus tip:men often arrive ahead of schedule to get a good seat. It is generally not a bad idea to locate yourself physically closest to the point where a key conversation or an important discussion will take place.
Kanye Free Zone
If your position gives you power, adopt a non-kayaking policy. Keep each other's mouths open in the company's policy - those who try to snatch the microphone off others will feel ashamed. If necessary, use the device used in primary school - the totem (whoever wields it has a voice).You can laugh, but the manager of the seven hundred team at Google told me that she uses this method.
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Enemy: Holder of sticky hands
Surely you could insist that a kind of sticky male hand phenomenon originated in the United States: a white man (Columbus) and his crew (a bunch of white guys) said they had discovered the New World, but this world it wasn't new at all (or theirs). In office conditions, the owner of sticky hands claims the team's merits as his own and the authorship of an idea that is not his, and sometimes he does nothing at all to ultimately gain praise.
It's a convenient situation: you are born a white male and are given credit for all credit . In the case of women, the phenomenon of sticky male hands additionally results from the fact that women are less likely to be properly attributed the authorship of their ideas, which is confirmed by centuries of history.
Fighting methods
No wrapping around the bush
It will be quite difficult for someone to claim the authorship of your idea if you present it with such authority that it stays in everyone's mind. So speak out loud and do not play apologies-goodies and other eeechy-hmmechs or speak in a child's voice.
Use the active side of verbs and authoritarian forms to show that what you say is your property. No: "It would be worth considering what would happen if we tried that …" but: "I would suggest that we …".
Thank you, I'm not leaving
Receive your well-deserved (and deprived) praise, thanking you that you like your idea. It is a sneaky, but very effective, self-praise that will allow you to save face. Try one of the versions: "Thank you for choosing my idea", "Yes! Exactly as I said", "Exactly. I'm glad you agree with me. So let's talk about the next steps."
Sometimes the snappy "Can I hear my echo?" Also works, but the "Thank you, I keep going" technique really warms the image up.
Additional support
Find a buddy who will support your ideas (maybe even a buddy). This was what employees of the Obama administration did when they felt they were not being listened to at meetings. They agreed to support each other and then repeated their ideas at meetings - of coursealways emphasizing who their author is.
When they used this method, not only were they interrupted less frequently, but their ideas were also attributed to the right people. Both the supportive (who presented herself as a great friend) and the supported (who received well-deserved praise) climbed the career ladder.
E-evidence
Create a folder and add e-mail evidence to it. If you just presented an incredibly good idea to the public, send a follow-up with your summary after the meeting - send to CC to anyone who, in your opinion, needs to know that everything is the record.
Enemy: Stenografodupek
Stenografodupek treats you like a secretary, although there is not even a shadow of a doubt that you are not: he asks you casually if "you wouldn't mind taking notes", he adds you to CC, planning the trip, or sends you "for coffee" for the client (your client).
Sometimes she accidentally assumes you are a secretary (or a kitchen assistant, as in the case of Mellody Hobson, DreamWorks CEO). My friend Alia, who works for an NGO, recently attended a cocktail party for receiving a prestigious scholarship. She was asked to greet guests at the door, along with the other laureates.
Instead of outstretched hands and congratulations - these were directed to the man next door - she was given coats in the face and these were not occasional cases. The guests thought she was a cloakroom.
Fighting methods
Barista two left hands
Do what digital strategist Aminatou Sow did: when male colleagues ask her to make coffee, she kindly replies that she would be happy to do it if she only knew how - her mother advised her not to learn how to brew coffee better otherwise it will end up at the coffee machine. (Equivalent to use in the situation with a photocopier: "Considering how many times I have broken the photocopier, maybe it is better for me not to touch it").
For further inspiration: read Shel Silverstein's poem How Not to Have to Dry the Dishes on how to avoid wiping dishes. Every woman should consider whether it is worth getting a tattoo on her arm: If you have to dry the dishes / And you drop one on the floor - / Maybe they won't let you / Dry the dishes anymore (If you have to dry the dishes / And drop one of them on the floor - / Maybe they won't tell you / Wipe them again.
Play a female card
Katharine O'Brien, the organization's psychologist, says she uses the following strategy to avoid constant pleas for help: she bluntly says "no" and thenexplains that he does not take notes at meetings because he believes that this pushes the woman into the role of a subordinate: he is to record, not to speak.
"I've been doing this for years and I've found it to be very effective," he explains. "Most people understand my way of thinking, and any animosity it causes is fleeting."
Bounce the ball to some guy
So play the task backhand, suggesting who else can do the job. "Honestly, I'm just blown away with an important presentation right now. But you know who's really great with Excel? Brad! He works great with spreadsheets." Other possible retort are: "Maybe you'd like me to get you some coffee while I'm already here" and "What, your arm is in plaster?"
Sit the delinquent
I heard this story from a certain CEO who was sharply criticized by a colleague for running out of the Diet Coke at a board meeting she was conducting. Instead of worrying about it, she turned to the guy and said sweetly, "I'll make sure to add this to the agenda next time." He closed.
Zero volunteering
Research shows unequivocally that most office tasks fall on women, but women also more often agree to do them and agree to volunteer. Sure, saying "no" can be difficult. But there is one thing that is not difficult: first of all, don't come forward.
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Enemy: Imitator
He's a guy from a creative writing course who recreates your interpretation of a poem in different words and tries to explain what you meant, but the professor remembers him as the one who said it first; The guy who puts a great punch line on your joke, but everyone thinks he made it up. He is a friend who imitates your plan, but somehow becomes recognized as the originator.
The imitator may not do it on purpose (like the holder of sticky hands) and not entirely overtly steal your ideas - but through a simple act of repetition ultimately earns praise.
Reproaches
Find a way to casually remind the audience that the idea came from you. Something like: "It's nice to hear feedback from my idea / my suggestion / my proposal". The key words are "mine / mine / mine". Yes, we women like to work in a team, but sometimes you have to reach for these words. If you don't recognize yourselfcommendable for their own idea, why shouldn't someone else collect them for it?
Confrontation
Don't be afraid to confront the imitator - maybe he thinks he's doing you a favor. If this is your boss, on the first match, try asking him for advice on how to present your ideas better, as you've noticed that he usually gives them back in his own words.
If it's a colleague, tell him you're sorry, but his attempts to help backfire because you are losing all the praise you deserve. Ultimately, showing the recognition you deserve not only helps you, but also protects the praiser from getting blown up.
Imitate an imitator
Swap places and let the game go on.
You:After analyzing our results in the first quarter, it seems important to allocate more funds to marketing.
Dude:Look, Bob - marketing was doing really well in the first quarter. We should give them a cash injection.
You:Yes. As I said literally three seconds ago, it makes sense to increase our marketing budget.
Dude:Blah blah blah - in my opinion we should double our expenses.
You:Glad you agree with me on this point, Chad. Since we are all of the same opinion, I will go and let the marketing department know that we will increase their budget.
Achieve clitoric mass
Clitoris=clitoris. That is: the absolutely female version of the critical mass. One way to ensure that women are heard for the first time is to increase their numbers in the room: then they will be more willing to speak up and have a greater impact on what happens8 . Start humbly: by supporting other women and endorsing their ideas.
Worth knowingThe text comes from the book "Feminist Fight Club. How to Survive in a Sexist Workplace" by Jessica Bennett (Buchmann Publishing House).
The author is a journalist and critic, writing about women, sexuality and culture. She collaborates with the New York Times, has worked as an editor for Newsweek and a columnist for Time.com. She is an editor at LeanIn.org, a women's NGO founded by Sheryl Sandberg. He is socially active and involved in the fight for women's rights.
Sources the author used when writing the above fragment:
1. Christopher F. Karpowitz, Tali Mendelberg, and Lee Shaker,Gender Inequality in Deliberative Participation , "American Political Science Review" (August 2012), pp. 1-15,http://www.bu.edu/wgs/files/2014/12/Karpowitz-et-al.-2012.pdf.
2. Marianne LaFrance,Gender and Interruptions: Individual Infraction or Violation of the Social Order? , "Psychology of Women Quarterly" 16 (1992), pp. 497-512, http: // interruptions. net / literature / LaFrance-PWQ92.pdf; Kristin J. Anderson and Campbell Leaper,Meta-Analyzes of Gender Effects on Controversial Interruption: Who, What, When, Where, and How , "Sex Roles" 39, nr 3-4 ( 1998), pp. 225-252, http://www.ffri.hr/~ibrdar/komunikacija/seminari/Anderson,%201998%20%20Metaalnalyses%0of%20gender%20effects%20on%20convers.doc.
3. Adrienne Hancock and Benjamin Rubin,Influence of Communication Partner's Gender on Language , "Journal of Language and Social Psychology", May 11, 2014, http://jls.sagepub.com/content/early / 2014/05/09 / 0261927X14533197; Victoria L. Brescoll,Who Takes the Floor and Why: Gender, Power and Volubility in Organizations , "Administrative Science Quarterly" 56, No. 4 (December 2011), pp. 622-641.
4. Carol W. Kennedy and Carl Camden,Interruptions and Nonverbal Gender Differences , "Journal of Nonverbal Behavior" 8, No. 2 (December 1983), pp. 91-108; Kathryn Heath, Jill Flynn and Mary Davis Holt,Women, Find Your Voice , "Harvard Business Review", June 2014, https://hbr.org/2014/06/women-find -your-voice.
5. Heather Sarsons,Gender Differences in Recognition for Group Work , "Working Paper", December 3, 2015, http://scholar.harvard.edu/sarsons/publications/note-gender-differences- recognition-group-work.
6. Facebook gender bias training; Madeline E. Heilman, Michelle C. Haynes,No Credit Where Credit Is Due: Attributional Rationalization of Women's Success in Male-Female Teams , "Journal of Applied Pscyhology" 90, nr 5 (September 2005), pp. 905-916, http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0021-9010.90.5.905.
7. Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant,Madam C.E.O., Get Me a Coffee , "New York Times", February 6, 2015, http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/08/ opinion / sunday / sheryl-sandberg-and-adam-grant-on-women-doing-office-housework.html.