I'm five months divorced. I made this decision after 8 years of marriage. I am very happy that I finally dared, because I wanted it forever - I made the decision to get married hastily, it was not love (at least on my part). My husband and I parted ways in harmony and we talk to each other. The only question that bothers me is why I miss so much love that I have practically never had (my relationships have always been without reciprocity). I would love not to think so intensely about meeting someone I love with reciprocity - I would like to live everyday life and enjoy my daughter.
The need for love is one of the basic human needs. Experiencing this feeling is one of the most beautiful events in life. That is why I am a bit surprised by your question. I can understand them - probably wondering if and when love will appear can be tiring for you and make you feel worse than usual. Loneliness can be very upset and can spoil any potential pleasure. It also does not allow you to enjoy life on an ongoing basis. Especially if it is prolonged and we think about it too much. It causes such a generalized sadness and depressed mood, which in turn weakens the ability to deal with everyday problems, and this again causes the build-up of darker moods. Over and over again. This spiral is not pleasant. You miss love because you have it inside, and you would like it to start to manifest, pour out, work your everyday and unusual miracles, because despite appearances, you would also like to have it for yourself and for your own use. Would you like to share it and get it, would you like a guy, partner, lover, friend, someone you can lean on, who you can trust, for whom you will be important, or even the most important … the coolest loneliness cannot deny. Of course, in such a situation it is difficult to be patient and it is difficult not to wonder - "will he come or not?" "Will I find her or not?" … Only thinking is one thing, and the help of love is another. You have a very good plan - to live peacefully with your daughter, enjoy what life brings, not to panic and live here and now. But there is still all the undeveloped area of your own adult development, and that also needs to be addressed. Contact different people, meet new peopleand cultivate acquaintances with old acquaintances. Try to constantly experience something new and interesting - to participate in life fully breastfeed and to take whatever you can from it. All this, firstly, does well for the kind of thinking you write about, and secondly, it definitely increases the chance of meeting someone interesting. After all, it does not have to be a lifelong relationship, but the ground for it to be good, satisfying and giving a sense of happiness. Do not lose hope and do not let it suffocate you - this is your right and a great need. A need for love that each of us carries like a precious treasure and cannot be satisfied by any other kind of love. Because there are many kinds of them, but none of them can replace the other. Regards, Tatiana Ostaszewska-Mosak
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Tatiana Ostaszewska-MosakHe is a clinical he alth psychologist.
Graduated from the Faculty of Psychology at the University of Warsaw.
She has always been particularly interested in the issue of stress and its impact on human functioning.
She uses her knowledge and experience at psycholog.com.pl and at the Fertimedica Fertility Center.
She completed a course in integrative medicine with the world-famous professor Emma Gonikman.
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