I have been in a relationship for several years. Recently my partner said that he dreams of threesome sex ie she-on-she. Since then, I can't stop thinking about it. Of course, she herself does not recognize this type of play and I do not need it to be happy. I can't cope with it, I imagine "such" situations and I am terrified of it, I feel hurt and jealous when I imagine my partner touching another. In general, I know that my partner loves me and gives me no reason to be jealous. I just feed myself with thoughts of cheating on me or about this unfortunate threesome and I feel bad about it. I can't believe he could go to bed with me and some woman … Should I talk to him about it? How to deal with "such" thoughts?
Hello! Sometimes fantasy is very far from being realized. Especially when it comes to erotic fantasies. We think about many possibilities, imagine them, maybe even treat them in terms of "dreams" but the quality of our life with a partner usually depends on it to a small extent. It's not bad or bad for your guy to have ideas or fantasies. Don't be scared by this. Rather, be glad that he trusts you enough to tell you about it. If you get very indignant, you just won't hear about such things anymore, which doesn't mean they won't be there. Your partner gets to know you and you get to know him - as he really is, not avoiding, keeping secret his slightly darker (in your opinion) face. Of course, his desires are one thing, and the fact that you don't want to participate in the realization of such desires is another. You have the right to do so, and you have the right not to want to. This behavior is beyond your understanding of partner sex and you have the right to decline. But don't make a big deal out of it all. Continue to get to know yourself, have maximum confidence in yourself, take care of your everyday relationships and such problems will never turn into problems of great importance.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Tatiana Ostaszewska-MosakHe is a clinical he alth psychologist.
Graduated from the Faculty of Psychology at the University of Warsaw.
She has always been particularly interested in the issue of stress and its impact on human functioning.
She uses her knowledge and experience at psycholog.com.pl and at the Fertimedica Fertility Center.
She completed a course in integrative medicine with the world-famous professor Emma Gonikman.
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