Stress paralyzes my thinking. It has been going on since high school. Currently, I experience torment before each presentation. Reporting on the topic, I give about 50-60% of what I have to say.
The situation when we stand in front of others and have to demonstrate knowledge and eloquence, for some it is a piece of cake, and for others it is Mont Everest. Why is it like that? It results from our past experiences, successes or failures, a sense of competence in the field in which we are to speak, self-confidence, freedom in social relationships or experiencing fear in these relationships.
Signs of stress before public speaking
The stress we experience before the performance, if it is not too great for us, can be mobilizing, then we are properly focused on the task and if we are ready to perform, we do well. When the stress is too high, both the physical and psychological symptoms significantly hinder our occurrence and often mean that the effects we achieve are below our capabilities, workload or knowledge. Stress before exposure, assessed by others, is particularly acute at the stage of adolescence and early adulthood and accompanies most of us. Palpitations, hot attacks, hand tremors, breathlessness, flushing on the face and neck, excessive sweating, stuttering or sudden difficulty finding the right words is the bane of most teenagers, everyday life that accompanies students when answering at the blackboard or students during presentations take the exam.
How to deal with stress before a show?
What to do? Before giving your speech, try to "stop". Ask yourself what you want to convey to the audience, what goal you want to achieve; determine who is to be your listener (so as not to talk exclusively to yourself). Be aware of what you are doing and refer to it during your speech, when you have stage fright, say to yourself: "I have to pass the information on, I say this to the audience, because we have an appointment, because they came here to find out …", "I say this to…". Try to name what you fear and what causes stage fright. Try to honestly verify your fears, try to distance yourself from them - probably how you fall out will not depend on someone else'slife, and mistakes and mistakes happen to people because that's their nature, so don't treat yourself worse than others. If you find it difficult to distance yourself from yourself, think about what you would say to a colleague or friend in this situation and do not be more critical of yourself.
Training makes perfect, so repeat what you have to say in public several times beforehand. Divide the speech into parts, mark where you will be pausing, gasping for breath. If you don't have an audience, say it to a cat, dog or mirror, make a recording, you can walk during rehearsals so as to activate your body and relieve tension. You can try to get some distance and practice, try to say it as "weatherman" or "Wołoszański".
Pre-stress stress can be controlled through the use of various relaxation techniques, breathing training, visualization, and positive affirmations. Just before checking where you feel tension in your body; check what are the first signs of anxiety, then you can - using breath, touch - calm down. Calm your breathing, "breathe" in places where stress accumulates - then you send a message to the brain that everything is ok, there is no danger. Try to work on your posture, relax your arms, straighten up, put your legs hip-width apart, move your neck, loosen your neck, eat candy to avoid jamming. Concentrate on the surroundings, not on your own fear, greet the participants, give them information, talk, eg ask about the weather outside; we are usually afraid of the unknown, so tame your surroundings. If you don't feel confident, pretend the opposite is true: try to get into the shoes of a confident speaker, say a good word to yourself, cheer yourself on and encourage action. Prepare a cheat sheet, a prescription that you will support yourself before the performance. Further experiences and good preparation will bring results. If you want to be a master in this field, you can enlist the help of a personal development trainer and achieve better and better results with him.
It may be, however, that the symptoms you experience are not just stress before exposure, but the anxiety that overwhelms you, negative thoughts, physical symptoms that significantly affect the quality of your social contacts. If your efforts are unsuccessful and the costs you incur are high, you may be facing a neurotic disorder in the form of social phobia. It is worth facing fear, working on changing the content of negative thoughts, improving relationships with others - because this can significantly improve the quality of life not only in the professional but also personal sphere. There are many ways that you can use it yourself. Technique is effective in taming your fearssmall steps, facing situations that are unbearable for us; slow, systematic transition to greater challenges. Changing negative, catastrophic thoughts should start with recognizing them and trying to challenge them: "am I sure I'm going to go wrong?", Logical judgment can favor replacing negative thoughts with more realistic and positive ones: "I can perform well, I do my best to happened". Breathing work, breathing control, can effectively influence the physical symptoms of anxiety.
If these activities do not bring the expected results, it is worth using the advice and support of a psychologist or psychotherapist. Positive results in the treatment of symptoms of social phobia are brought by the cognitive behavioral therapy available in clinics.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Dominika Ambroziewicz-WnukPsychologist, personal development trainer.
For 20 years she has been working with teenagers, young adults and their carers. Supports people who experience school and relational difficulties, adolescence disorders and teenage parents www.centrum-busola.pl
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