I have a 15-year-old son. The society he hangs out with are his peers, but also people aged 18 and 19. They want the whole group to go to Masuria and rent a cottage this coming summer. My son absolutely wants to go with them. I know these kids, because they are from the neighborhood, sometimes some people come to us, but isn't it too early? Should I let my son go on independent vacation?
From the account I understood that the boy has a group of older friends with whom he spends time, you know some of them, and that he wants to spend his first independent vacation with them. Independent vacation, spending the night away from home is the first opportunity to train, prepare for adult life, without adult supervision and supervision. These are also the first self-responsibility exams. Such experiences are useful and developmental for a child as he grows up. It is important that they are well planned and safe.
You don't say much about how they spend their time, what they do together, whether your son had any troubles in this company, and finally, it is very important what you are afraid of. It is important to honestly tell yourself about these fears - to verify those that are excessive parental concern, e.g. whether he will eat or dress, against those that are really important at this age: risky behavior, psychoactive substances, or sexual activity. You should tell your son about your fears, ask him if he will be able to refuse when his older colleagues do something that he is not allowed to do yet. Perhaps some of your fears will turn out to be excessive and the trip will also be an opportunity to honestly talk to your son about some matters. It is important to listen to your son and take his plans seriously, get to know the entire composition of the outgoing group, details of where to stay and how to contact your son. It may also turn out that your concerns about your son's safety will be justified, because, for example, the group you want to leave with are people who have serious behavior problems, or take psychoactive substances, etc. Then you have to honestly tell your son that you are afraid that the son will not be safe there, and the Lady is still responsible for him.
I will not answer the question whether to let your son go on an independent vacation, you have to make this decision alone or together with the boy's father, it is important that the son's opinion is heard and taken seriously.
Remember that our answerexpert is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Dominika Ambroziewicz-WnukPsychologist, personal development trainer.
For 20 years she has been working with teenagers, young adults and their carers. Supports people who experience school and relational difficulties, adolescence disorders and teenage parents www.centrum-busola.pl
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