An intermittent relationship is a relationship that theoretically ends, but in practice … it is not. The problem in this case is that people part with each other and then come back together many times. Why is this happening in some relationships and what can be the consequences of becoming entangled in an intermittent relationship?

Contents:

  1. Intermittent relation: what are its causes?
  2. Interrupted relationship: what are its consequences?
  3. Intermittent relationship: is it better to break up?

Intermittent relationshipwould seem to be the perfect confirmation of the thesis that nothing lasts forever. People get married, they have children, and yet sometimes after many years it turns out that they are not really on their way with each other and eventually get divorced, which seals their separation.

In this case, these people usually do not come back to each other anymore, and if they enter into a relationship, then with a completely different partner. It happens, however, that some people - not infrequently many times - part with great anger, and then return to each other after a short time. This kind of phenomenon is referred to as the interrupted relationship and it is more and more common in the modern world. But where does it come from?

Intermittent relationship: what are its causes?

The intermittent relationship is a problem primarily for people who are together for a long time and are strongly connected with each other emotionally. This type of relationship is also often entered into by people who have a tendency to become emotionally dependent on their partner.

It happens that an emotional relationship is created by people who theoretically are completely out of the way - it may be caused, for example, by the fact that they strive for completely different things in life (e.g. one partner focuses on the home hearth, for the other in turn, the most important thing is career, and only in the second - or even further - place is personal life).

There is also a possibility that people with completely different temperaments and preferences will get involved - here, examples include the relationship of an introvert with an extrovert or a relationship between two people, one of whom likes to spend all his free time actively, and the other in turn prefers a quiet rest in comfortown home. These problems are some of the reasons why people who have feelings end up creating an intermittent relationship.

It would seem that when people are completely different and therefore their relationship does not function as it should, it does not take much to solve the problem - all you have to do is break up. The problem, however, arises when feelings are involved.

People may even be aware that they remain in a relationship that does not satisfy them, and on the other hand, somewhere in the back of their heads, they may have the thought that they simply love the other person very much. This type of relationship is one of the main reasons for an interrupted relationship - people cannot part with each other, especially when they feel something towards their partner and hope that someday better days for their relationship will come.

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Interrupted relationship: what are its consequences?

The better time in a relationship mentioned above sometimes never comes. It happens that a broken relationship breaks up repeatedly because of exactly the same problems. A fairly simple example can be given here - the couple breaks up because she is constantly striving to pursue her passions, for which she has no time to spend with him. Another example - he plans to tattoo half of his skin, but she hates that kind of ornaments.

A couple through such - theoretically trivial - problems can diverge, until finally both sides can try to modify their mutual expectations and eventually get back to each other. It happens, however, that the partners only seemingly want to change something - in the end it may turn out that each of them still thinks exactly the same as before the breakup, more conflicts arise and the relationship becomes an interrupted relationship again, because the breakup occurs.

Parting - which probably does not need to be explained - is certainly not pleasant. It is similar with the preceding them in relations interrupted by conflicts. Ultimately, it comes to the point that partners often struggle with suffering.

Yes, this suffering theoretically passes when two people come together, but in practiceusually this does not mean the end of the problems. For if partners systematically part with each other, and after some time they come back to each other again, then usually "there is something to do" - it is not without a reason. The periods between break-ups are rarely a quiet time, and much more often it happens that during them partners argue, accuse each other or hurt each other in some other way. Ultimately, being stuck in an interrupted relationship - instead of the happiness that the relationship should bring - can primarily bring pain.

Intermittent relationship: is it better to break up?

In a situation where two people are unable to live in harmony with each other, one thing is certain: there is a problem in such a relationship, moreover, the problem is simply not solved. If people are in an intermittent relationship with each other, it most likely means that they share strong feelings - theoretically, it is worth fighting for such a relationship.

Theoretically, because an interrupted relationship can only be repaired when there are intentions on the part of both partners. First, however, it is necessary to find the reason why two people are breaking up over and over again. It is difficult for the interested ones - for example because of tensions and blaming each other - to be so difficult to say.

For this reason, it is best to go to a specialist who will be able to look at the problem with an objective eye and say what could be done to make the relationship function better. You can really turn an intermittent relationship into a lasting, happy relationship - to achieve this, it is possible to go to couple therapy together. Sometimes it is helpful to use individual psychotherapy.

As mentioned above, however, an interrupted relationship can only be saved if both people care about it. If it is so that only one person wants to repair the relationship and therefore wants to work on himself, then the chances that an agreement will be reached between the partners will significantly decrease.

In such a situation, the best thing to do is to resign from such a relationship. Of course, it surely isn't easy - after all, people don't decide to come back regularly after breakups for no reason. However, everyone really deserves happiness, and if the relationship doesn't work as it should, because the other person doesn't want to work on themselves in any way, the truth is that they will most likely never want to do it. The way to find happiness in such a situation may turn out to be looking for it elsewhere, with a completely different person.

Bow. Tomasz NęckiGraduate of the facultyat the Medical University of Poznań. An admirer of the Polish sea (most willingly strolling along its shores with headphones in his ears), cats and books. In working with patients, he focuses on always listening to them and spending as much time as they need.

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