My 23-year-old friend has been taking amphetamines for about 10 months. Her breaks during these 10 months last 2-3 days, not more, we can say that she is under the influence every day. She did not take 2 weeks, she said she would quit and it only ended with promises. I do not know what to do. In the last 2 months, he has tricked his friends into money, he becomes furious when he has no money, and when he does not get it. She says that she has nothing left, that she is ugly, that she will no longer be the way she used to be, that no one cares about her (no contact with her family, despite attempts to renew the relationship), she sees people who are not there, who supposedly follow her, afraid to go out. Possibly in the evening, so that no one sees her, because she thinks everyone is looking at her. She gives her friends what they want, even though they have never helped her, she calls them herself to spend time with them. But he is aware that they are only using her, and I don't understand why he is still doing it! He has no job, no own place, because he lives with some boy at his house. No income, except what she can get by cheating people and stealing. Her record is rich: a correctional facility, a five-month prison sentence, after which she was only well off for six months. I really want to help her, because I can see that despite all this, she still wants to live a normal life. But I don't know how to get her to some kind of treatment. To what institutions should she lead her so that all this could have some effect? I don't know where to start.
It is very difficult to cooperate with an addiction and an addicted person (if I can call it that). You can't help someone if he doesn't want that help himself! It is difficult to get someone - even a best friend - to go into therapy. I think that such matters take time and maturity to make such a decision. Each addict at a different stage of his life tries to heal the addiction. One person begins to heal when he loses his driving license and another when he loses his family.
It's not good for people to lend your friend money for drugs. This behavior is conducive to her addiction. An addict is very difficult to understand because he or she lives in a constant mechanism of addiction, which disarms himself through therapy in the center. It's good for her parents and siblings to find out about herproblem, because they can do the most, e.g. bring a case to court for compulsory treatment. They can also persuade their daughter to meet Narcotics Anonymous groups or participate in therapy in a day ward for drug addicts, e.g. Monar.
I also think that you are very involved in your friend's problem, please consider why is this happening? What is the reason for this? Maybe there was a similar situation in your life, someone was addicted from your close environment and you feel sorry for yourself that you were not able to help her? Such behavior, i.e. over-control and overprotection, requires therapy.
And did your friend ask you officially for help? Did you write that you want to be treated, go to therapy? Because from what I understood, the initiative is rather on your side … And it cannot be … Please talk to her parents and siblings about her addiction, because they are responsible for her, not you. It is they who should take the appropriate steps after talking to her in advance. All you can do is help her overcome her addiction if you choose to do so, and talk to her parents, the rest is up to them. I suggest you search the Internet for groups for Narcotics Anonymous in your city, the Monar clinic or the Monar center and share this information with the person concerned and their family (if you do, then a lot). One more thing - it's up to us how we want to live our lives, we make choices, you can't live for someone - I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Ewa GuzowskaEwa Guzowska - educator, addiction therapist, lecturer at GWSH in Gdańsk. A graduate of the Pedagogical Academy in Krakow (social and care pedagogy) and postgraduate studies in therapy and diagnosis of children and adolescents with developmental disorders. She worked as a school educator and addiction therapist in a drug addiction center. He conducts numerous trainings in the field of interpersonal communication.
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