I get on well with my partner, we have been a harmonious couple for 3 years, but we have one problem - we do not get along in bed. She does not feel any pleasure from intercourse, she is nervous about sex. Her vagina does not feel anything at all, and recently even her clitoral orgasm has disappeared. Libido tests are normal, but my partner still wants to have sex maybe twice a month, not more often. We were looking for help from a sexologist, we found a doctor who was rude and "turned us off" in 10 minutes. This problem makes everything fall apart and I feel that our relationship will not last long.
The problem you are describing is often encountered in women. It is a lack of sexual needs (or very low needs) and a lack of joy. Probably the cause is psychological. The partner's nervousness and tension make her unable to "relax", excite her, which prevents her vagina from getting wet and she is unable to enjoy sex.
This problem most often requires psychotherapy of the partner, carried out by a psychologist - sexologist. If it is not treated, it can turn into sexual aversion in the partner. Then sexual feelings will not be indifferent, but will start to be associated with negative emotions - disgust, disgust.
Lack of pleasure in sexual contact, it can be psychological, social, cultural or organic. The most common psychological factors are: exhaustion, excessive amount of duties and stress at work. sleep deprivation, partner relationship disorders, sexual trauma, past sexual harassment, perception of sex as something wrong, sinful. The cause may also be a disturbed body image, low self-esteem, lack of acceptance of one's own femininity.
Among organic factors, hormonal disorders, diseases (diabetes, hypertension, depression), taking certain medications (including psychotropic drugs) are the most frequently mentioned.
Before starting treatment, the cause of the dysfunction must be determined. Together, consider whether any of the above-mentioned psychological factors are present. If not, you may need to look for an organic cause - do a hormone test and see a sexologist.
Remember that our expert's response is in natureinformative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Magdalena Krzak (Bogdaniuk)
Psychologist, psychotherapist, clinical sexologist and forensic sexologist. He has a Clinical Sexologist Certificate, awarded by the Polish Society of Sexology, after completing full specialization in clinical sexology in Warsaw, and a Court Sexologist Certificate. He deals with the treatment of sexual disorders in women and men. He works both individually and with couples. She conducts psychotherapy for victims of sexual violence. He conducts diagnostics and psychological support for transsexual people.
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