We are with my husband a few years after the wedding. Our sex life was going well until we decided that we wanted a baby. Long efforts, anxiety as to whether we would succeed, made us love each other only on fertile days. After the tests, it turned out that my husband had bad semen results, it broke him. The husband was more and more reluctant to have sex. He asked me not to push. In the cycle where I got pregnant, we had an argument over it. After this quarrel, it was as if our sex life had revived or my husband was trying very hard. We made love several times on days that should theoretically be infertile. It turned out that I got pregnant! Now I'm in the 5th month. The problem is that we haven't had sex once since that cycle. The husband does not want to. He says he can't imagine making love because it would feel weird knowing the baby is inside. Could it be some kind of trauma caused by long efforts to have a baby? My husband says he still likes me. Besides, we are a compatible and loving marriage. We've never been some "sex demons" but I love him and I need his tenderness. I am asking for advice.
Long efforts to have a baby can actually cause disorders in sexual life, because at some point sex ceases to serve pleasure and closeness, and becomes only a procreation. It becomes mechanical and empty. Additionally, poor semen results could have caused a husband to lose his self-esteem and feel worthless as a man. These factors contributed to her husband's avoidance of intercourse, but when he found out that you could have children, things improved. Today, these problems can still have a negative effect on the husband. Sometimes it also happens that some men react to pregnancy in such a way that they are afraid of intercourse because they are afraid of damaging the baby. Pregnancy is a period of refraining from intercourse for them. Perhaps only pregnancy causes the husband to avoid intercourse. A woman in such a situation feels rejected. That is why you should tell your husband about your feelings, that you feel unattractive, withdrawn. It is important for your partner to feel that you are still an attractive woman for him. Unfortunately, this does not guarantee that your partner will change your approach and will want to have sex, but it will help you survive this time. Most likely, everything will return to normal after pregnancy and the postpartum period.
Rememberthat our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Magdalena Krzak (Bogdaniuk)
Psychologist, psychotherapist, clinical sexologist and forensic sexologist. He has a Clinical Sexologist Certificate, awarded by the Polish Society of Sexology, after completing full specialization in clinical sexology in Warsaw, and a Court Sexologist Certificate. He deals with the treatment of sexual disorders in women and men. He works both individually and with couples. She conducts psychotherapy for victims of sexual violence. He conducts diagnostics and psychological support for transsexual people.
More advice from this expert
Contraception after pregnancy [Expert advice]No tender kisses [Expert Advice]Not wanting to have sex [Expert Advice]No desire for sex [Expert's tip]No orgasm [Expert Advice]Lack of arousal during sex [Expert Advice]Failure to ejaculate [Expert Advice]What to do when your partner fails or you have sex? [Expert advice]Can neurosis affect erection? [Expert advice]How To Stop Premature Ejaculation? [Expert advice]How to focus on sex? [Expert advice]How to save a marriage? [Expert advice]Masturbation - yes or no? [Expert advice]Masturbation and Sex [Expert Advice]Masturbation in a relationship [Expert Advice]Small penis circumference [Expert Advice]Husband and Internet Pornography [Expert Advice]The husband doesn't want to make love [Expert's tip]I cannot communicate with my husband [expert advice]Low male libido [Expert Advice]Concerns [Expert Advice]He withers too quickly [Expert's tip]Confidence of the past and jealousy of the partner [Expert's tip]Premature Ejaculation [Expert Advice]Triangle or maybe a quadrangle? [Expert advice]Addiction to Pornographic Movies [Expert Advice]Vagina Too Tight [Expert Advice]