We have been together for 5 years, this year we decided to start a sexual relationship. We have a problem though - during foreplay his cock gets hard, but when I try to put it on - it falls off. We are our first partners, my fiance masturbated for several years. What should I do to make our sex life successful? I love him very much and I can see him poisoning himself because he is not able to satisfy me.
The partner has erectile dysfunction, which may result from: - frequent masturbation (getting used to one type of stimulation causes that other stimuli are no longer stimulating enough), - anxiety, stress, tension - fear that it will not fulfill the role mistress. The appearance of an erection before penetration means that the partner has a preserved ability to achieve an erection, which means that he is he althy and these disorders are not biological but psychological. Talk carefully about your fears and expectations. It is also important that you react to these problems in a supportive and accepting way - such an attitude is necessary for improvement to occur. These types of problems often appear in men who start intercourse and often result from the fear of embarrassment. They are also completely treatable. Agree together that these first times do not have to be perfect and give yourself the right to make mistakes. If discussing the fears and stresses related to sexual activity does not help, the partner may refer to a sexologist who, in more detail, in direct contact, will suggest how to help.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Magdalena Krzak (Bogdaniuk)
Psychologist, psychotherapist, clinical sexologist and forensic sexologist. He has a Clinical Sexologist Certificate, awarded by the Polish Society of Sexology, after completing full specialization in clinical sexology in Warsaw, and a Court Sexologist Certificate. He deals with the treatment of sexual disorders in women and men. He works both individually and with couples. She conducts psychotherapy for victims of sexual violence. He conducts diagnostics and psychological support for transsexual people.
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