VERIFIED CONTENTAuthor: Dominika Wilk

The Electra complex appears in early childhood and is a reversal of the Oedipus complex. It consists in the girl feeling strong feelings (including erotic ones) towards her father and at that time rejecting the figure of her mother. It is a natural stage of growing up, but an inappropriate ending to it may lead to inappropriate psychosexual development of a girl and disturbed relations with her future partner.

The Electra Complexis a type of psychosexual disorder that affects girls aged 3-7 years. It is manifested by an excessive fascination with the father. The name of these disorders refers to the Mycenaean princess - Electra, who avenged her father's death by killing her mother and her lover. This complex is a reversal of the Oedipus conflict so widely described by Freud.

What is the Electra complex?

Instead of the son's fascination with the mother (Oedipus complex), we have an unusual interest in the dad shown by the daughter (Elektra complex).

This sudden excess of feelings takes on an erotic dimension, because the girl often tries to seduce her father with looks, sentiments or by simply saying directly that she wants to marry him.

By getting so close to her dad, the girl automatically starts to treat her mother as a rival and tries to distance her from her husband. He also tries to establish alliances with his dad and try to "dominate" over his mom.

How should a parent behave during the Electra complex?

If the child's development process is to run properly, the father should set clear boundaries for the child and say straightforwardly that his feelings for his mother are unchanged and that they are different than for his daughter (which does not mean that it is worse). He should praise his daughter, repeat that she is smart and beautiful, and at the same time emphasize that his mother is his wife, and that the daughter may marry one of her kindergarten friends in the future, but not her dad.

Mom also plays an extremely important role in this period. While she may feel rejected by her child, she should not show it. She must also not show jealousy or show aversion towards the child.

Treating the child's behavior as a natural stage of development, she should express love and acceptance towards her daughter, emphasizing at the same time that she and dadthey are a couple and the child cannot change it.

What is the risk of improper dissolution of the Electra complex?

Inadequate resolution of a conflict in childhood, resulting e.g. from inappropriate behavior of the father, getting too close to the child in an erotic context, may affect the girl's later relationships with men.

Such a girl, already an adult woman, can constantly compare her current partners to her dad and neither of them will seem good enough to her to stay by her side. This way, she will not be able to establish any lasting relationship with the man and will end new relationships quickly.

It may also be that a woman will try to find a much older partner to replace her dad and expect him to look after her and give her unlimited love. However, desiring unconditional love, such as that of parents towards a child, she will be constantly disappointed, because her partner, for obvious reasons, will not give her this type of feeling.

A woman with an unsuccessfully resolved Electra complex may also take a demanding attitude towards her man, believing that she deserves everything, just as she was en titled to in her childhood.

In turn, too harsh rejection by the father during the Electra complex can lead to a woman's lower self-esteem. Low self-esteem will then make the woman create relationships with partners who use and subordinate her.

Such a person may also have a disturbed sense of their own femininity, which in turn will have an impact on their sex life. In the bedroom, she may feel uncomfortable, not good enough or not pretty enough to arouse desire for her partner.

How can the Electra complex be treated by a psychotherapist?

According to the psychotherapist Beata Matys-Wasilewska: "the role of a psychotherapist is primarily to help in reaching, realizing and then understanding all the feelings and experiences that took place in childhood and that the woman experienced from both her father and mother. During therapy, you confront your desires and the feelings of guilt, shame or anger you feel in relation to them. The way to resolve Electra's conflict is to work through any trauma she has suffered in her relationship with her parents and realize that one way to achieve happiness and harmony in her adult relationship with her partner is to regain affection for her mother and look at her parents. as a whole that brought her to life. "

Category:

Psychology