After 7 years of marriage, I lost my husband - he left me, left me with an adopted child. I don't know what to do … I want to get him back because he didn't leave me for someone else, but decided to change his life - or so he says. There were arguments, quarrels, quiet days in our relationship, he decided to change it - he doesn't want it anymore, he just chose to stay calm. I asked him to come back, because he has someone for me, for the child, but he doesn't want to come back, he doesn't want to be with me, even for the sake of the child. I need him very much, I want him to surround me with his protection and love again. How can it be recovered? Conversations do not help anything, I definitely want a divorce, and I don't want that, I want him… what should I do….
Hello! I'm afraid there is no such way to stop someone who has made up their mind and insisted on leaving. Such entreaties, conversations, and "last resort" methods do not work, and even do the opposite. The more you chase him, the more he runs away and the more convinced he is that he has something to run from. Despite the fact that you are very sad, difficult and bad - leave him alone. Let him go where he wants and do what he wants. You have your tasks to do. Although you have not asked for it, you now have time, place and opportunity to take care of yourself. Take this chance even though you have tears in your eyes and a big hole in your heart. You have to fill it in somehow. I would advise you to go to a sensible psychologist to help you get through this worst period, because it will not be easy for a long time. You have to focus on yourself, then on the child (because it is the most innocent victim here) and start over. Maybe what is new will be even better than the old one? I know it's hard to believe now, but there's a chance. Good luck!
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Tatiana Ostaszewska-MosakHe is a clinical he alth psychologist.
Graduated from the Faculty of Psychology at the University of Warsaw.
She has always been particularly interested in the issue of stress and its impact on human functioning.
She uses her knowledge and experience at psycholog.com.pl and at the Fertimedica Fertility Center.
She completed a course in integrative medicine with the world-famous professor Emma Gonikman.
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