My mother has been taking loans for several years without telling anyone. Survival money, no matter what - no things she would buy. A few years ago, when we found out about it, it was already very large. The sister who was abroad helped a lot, giving a lot of money for it, and the brother who was working at the time gave a large part of his small paycheck. Mom cried and promised it wouldn't happen again. Now dad has found more credit papers. We don't know what to do. How to talk to her. What to tell her. How to ask her to stop. It's not that she's lacking this money. She just takes these loans and squanders that money on not knowing what the consequences are. When we talked to her about it a few days ago, we had all the papers in front of us, she said that she had nothing else, and a day later it turned out that she still had another loan taken on the day of our interview and another one a few days later! Does she care? How can this be remedied? What to tell her, what to do?

Mr. Wojtek!
It is easier in the situation described by you to say what not to do than what to do. It will be ineffective to convince the mother that she is acting wrongly (she herself knows it), to expect an explanation, and to demand promises to change behavior. It is worth assuming that the mother is not yet able to control her behavior and the more she forbids herself from taking loans, the more she will be tempted to do so. My advice is to try to react as little emotionally to the matter as possible and try to understand what the reasons for this behavior may be, what the mother's needs can be met by taking credit. He may ask her which moments of the situation are the most exciting for her. Whether taking credit, spending money, secrecy, exposure, maybe something else. It is also about understanding why she is acting this way, because she is probably not very aware of it yet. Of course, regardless of this, you can try to make taking loans more difficult for her, but it is definitely not worth counting on her cooperation.
Pozdrawiam
Józef Sawicki

Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.

Józef Sawicki

A specialist in individual therapies with many years of experiencepsychotherapeutic. In clinical work, she deals with psychotic patients. He is interested in the philosophy of the East. More at www.firma-jaz.pl.

More advice from this expert

3.5 year old and a potty [Expert's tip]Husband's alcoholism and my aggression [Expert's tip]I'm afraid to go to sleep [Expert Advice]My Boyfriend's Ex-girlfriend [Expert Advice]Morbid credit taking [Expert Advice]Blushing [Expert Advice]Am i depressed? [Expert advice]Depression and bioxetin [Expert's tip]Dyspnoea [Expert Advice]Social phobia? [Expert advice]Husband's Internet Friendship [Expert's Advice]How to meet a girl? [Expert advice]How To Get Free From Masturbation? [Expert advice]I am nervous [Expert Advice]Trouble concentrating [Expert's tip]Trouble with weight loss [Expert's tip]Fear of spiders [Expert's tip]Fear of performance [expert's tip]I have fears [Expert's tip]My Child Steals [Expert Advice]My husband started drinking [Expert's tip]Husband burned out ?! [Expert advice]Low self-esteem and problems with aggression [Expert advice]Gluttony [Expert Advice]Cheated by her husband [Expert's tip]After my husband leaves [Expert's advice]A way to lie [Expert's tip]The forever screaming child [Expert Advice]Reminds me of the past [Expert's tip]I get involved too quickly [Expert's tip]

Category: