I met a boyfriend a few years ago; I fell in love with him very quickly. It continues to this day, with the difference that it is a relationship based on loose contacts. He meets me about once a month just to sleep with me. I treat it a little differently. He has a girlfriend he is dating. I know he is fine with her. However, I do not understand why he is meeting me too. I know that I am wrong to agree to such a deal, but I miss it so much that even being in the role of the latter, I feel happy meeting him. My question is: is there any way for him to choose me, to make him lie down on me a little bit. I wouldn't have asked that question if I had known that he totally dislikes me. No, he likes me, but not the way I would like him to. And I know that this is the only boy I will always love in my life.
Hello! When I see or hear such a text - "I know that this is the only one that I will love only him …" I always ask - and where does this certainty come from? It's like standing in front of a wardrobe full of clothes and repeating - "I know that I will not change, I will always wear these pants …" Of course … You can. But what for? Why not give yourself a chance? Why not try something different, new, interesting? Though perhaps disturbing at first? Why not try on a new dress just because I'm wearing old, too small pants that once looked good? I will never understand it - how can you put up with something like this? How can you let yourself be so contained as to allow yourself and others to treat yourself in such a way? You'd rather have a "relationship" than none, rather have (or pretend to have) a boyfriend every now and then than admit to yourself that you don't have anyone right now. There is no point in extending this state of affairs. Give yourself and this boy a break, break this relationship or turn it into a casual relationship. Do not be under the illusion that the boy will choose you - he already has you, why would he give up something or someone additional? It is unlikely to work. Parting for good will probably be unpleasant and painful for you at first, but in the long run it is the only good solution. And believe me - this is definitely NOT the ONLY boy you will always love in your life.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visitdoctor.
Tatiana Ostaszewska-MosakHe is a clinical he alth psychologist.
Graduated from the Faculty of Psychology at the University of Warsaw.
She has always been particularly interested in the issue of stress and its impact on human functioning.
She uses her knowledge and experience at psycholog.com.pl and at the Fertimedica Fertility Center.
She completed a course in integrative medicine with the world-famous professor Emma Gonikman.
More advice from this expert
Verbal aggression of the partner [Expert's advice]No orgasm [Expert Advice]No meaning in life [Expert's tip]Lack of self-confidence? [Expert advice]Can you forgive treason? [Expert advice]Depression after marital infidelity [Expert's tip]How to deal with a child's low self-esteem [Expert's tip]I'm nervous [Expert's tip]Fear of sex [Expert Advice]Fears of a two-year-old [Expert's tip]I have depression? [Expert advice]Masturbation in a 5-year-old girl [Expert's tip]My son doesn't want to study [Expert's tip]Neurosis in the family [Expert's tip]I don't believe in myself and I don't see the point in my life [expert's advice]Aversion to children [Expert's tip]Niejadek [Expert's tip]Not controlling your emotions [Expert Advice]Husband passed away [Expert's tip]Decline in libido [Expert Advice]Stress - how to relax? [Expert advice]I Avoid Sex With My Husband [Expert Advice]Broken movie after drinking [Expert's tip]Addiction to lying [Expert's tip]Mother and 11-year-old son sleeping together [Expert's tip]I fell in love without reciprocity [Expert's tip]Jealousy [Expert Advice]Jealousy and low self-esteem [Expert's tip]what is wrong and how to help yourself? [Expert advice]How do I act [Expert's Advice]