A long-term relationship often means that sex takes a back seat in it. Work, children, daily duties, fatigue make passion weaken. Partners stop feeling mutual desire. But fortunately, this is not an irreversible process. How to do this and ignite a long-term relationship?
Long-term relationshipand cooling of intimate relationships are not uncommon. It is normal that after years of living together, the mutual erotic fascination is not so strong anymore. It is replaced by respect, friendship and understanding. Sex becomes less frequent or even absent.
However, this does not mean that we do not miss the state of the first months of falling in love. Most couples look for ways to restore passion. And rightly so. Not only because, even in a stable relationship, sex is an important element that brings the couple together. Lack of passion and boredom in the bedroom makes love burn out.
Besides, the frequency of intercourse is strongly related to the feeling of happiness. Research says that more than a good financial situation or even a subjective assessment of he alth. Regardless of age, sex is important! And intercourse itself is good for he alth.
Here are ways to maintain intimacy.
1. Take care of the relationship
Problems in bed are often the result of troubles outside of bed. Mutual complaints, understatements or lack of attention can kill even the greatest desire. A good relationship requires constant work, so it is worth considering whether the less desire for sex is due to a neglect of the relationship.
Try to mute mutual resentments, ask your partner how your day was, do not underestimate his passion. Let him know how important he is to you. Compliments (of course in moderation), send nice texts, leave sensitive notes. Tell your partner you expect the same.
2. Grow
Desire is born in the brain, so it's no wonder that a lack of interest makes the desire for sex diminish. Sign up for a foreign language, dance or cooking course, read books, be up to date with movie news.
A person with something to talk about, intriguing and more attractive to others. It's worth having something other than living together with your partner - going out with friends, your own passions. Let the man see that he is not the whole world for you - such awareness burdens andtiring.
How is a mature relationship formed?
Reasons for jealousy in a mature relationship
How to rekindle the relationship?
3. Make a date
Meetings for two, for which each partner carefully prepared, is one of the things that you miss the most. So it is worth planning a joint trip, especially if you do not have time for a few days off. Spend time just for yourself, flirt - this art shouldn't fade away with time. Flirting refreshes feelings and introduces a thrill.
4. Take care of yourself
Mutual physical attraction is an aspect of a relationship that cannot be taken lightly. Its lack makes partners lose their self-confidence and give up sex. A woman who feels attractive radiates and intrigues a man.
And it also makes him realize that nothing is given once and for all, so it is worth trying to get another person even after years of living together. So make time to go to the fitness center, to the swimming pool, to the beautician or to paint your nails. A new set of underwear or perfume is an investment in yourself and a successful relationship. Also appreciate your partner's efforts, reassure him of his attractiveness.
5. Fight the routine
Boredom is the greatest enemy of desire. If your intercourse has been the same for years, it's no wonder that you are giving up sex more and more. There are plenty of ways to diversify.
If you always have sex in bed, try other places, e.g. dining table, living room rug, washing machine. A massage, shared shower or bath is a good idea - preferably by candlelight and with wine.
For ideas, you can browse through the erotic stores' offer. Perhaps you will like one of the gadgets available there? A good source of inspiration for changes are movies, not necessarily typically erotic (e.g. "Pillow Book", "Intimacy", "Lover", "Crash", "Eyes Wide Shut").
6. Communication is the key
The easiest way to make changes to your bed is to talk honestly. It is best to choose it when the partners are refreshed and are not in a hurry (but better not in bed, but on neutral ground).
However, it cannot turn into a mutual litany of grievances and regrets. Instead of talking about what bothers you with your partner and what you would like to change, focus on your desires and needs, talk about what you miss and what you lack.
There is a chance that the partner will reciprocate. If conversation is not an option, why not try writing letters to each other?
7. A bit of mystery
Despite many years of living together, it is worth keeping a fewsecrets and do not share absolutely anything with your partner. It's not about pretending to be someone else, but about leaving an area of intimacy that even the other half won't have access to.
Too literal destroys lust. Your partner doesn't need to see you during beauty treatments such as coloring your hair or epilation. There is also no need to thoroughly discuss with the man the problems of friends, the course of the working day or confessing on purchases.
8. Good plan
If you are counting on a spontaneous outburst of passion, you may never wait. Therefore, plan it! It's not true that only surprise sex can be hot. After all, at the beginning of the relationship, you also planned and dreamed about how it would be.
Think what you would like your evening to be like and inform your partner via SMS. The thought of the pleasures ahead will make your excitement build throughout the day.
Maciej, 45 years old"We have been together for twenty years. For some time we both came to the conclusion that our relationship needs a change. We started experimenting with various gadgets, we watch erotic movies together, we play out different scenes in bed, e.g. she is an erotic dancer, and I am a demanding client, sometimes I am seduced naked in high heels. Me and my partner are delighted with this variety. "