As a child, I was abused and beaten by my mother's partner. I told my boyfriend about it and I don't know if he fully understood me. Because it's not his fault that something happens to me when he touches me, strokes my back with his hand, hugs me tighter, puts his hand on my knee, moves it from top to bottom. It is in these situations that I feel embarrassed, vulnerable, and yet I trust my boyfriend. At the beginning, when he touched me, I ran away from him, sat as far away from him as possible. Then the questions began, to which he answers himself, because I am silent. I don't know what to tell him when he touches me with his hands, moves closer and closer, he presses me against him - what should I say to him then? That I am afraid of him, that I am terrified that he will do something bad to me? Please answer my questions. How can I talk to my boyfriend if I don't understand myself. It happened so long ago, why is it coming back to me? Will it always be like this or will I stop being afraid all the time?
People who experience childhood sexual harassment often face its consequences throughout their lives. They can't build a proper relationship with their partner, can't trust them, don't enjoy sex and the like.
People like you should go to a psychotherapist and undergo therapy in order to deal with the past and be able to lead a happy life. There are many therapists who work with molested people on a daily basis, have extensive experience in this and are able to help. It's worth breaking your shame and going to one of them.
You can go with your partner for the first visit - the therapist can help you explain what is happening to you and what are the consequences of sexual harassment. When talking to your partner, you should be honest about your feelings. You can also read together about the effects of sexual harassment online or in books. Thanks to this, you will better understand this problem.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Magdalena Krzak (Bogdaniuk)
Psychologist, psychotherapist, clinical sexologist and forensic sexologist. She has a Clinical Sexologist Certificate, awarded by the Polish Sexological Society, after graduationfull specialization in clinical sexology in Warsaw and a Certificate of Forensic Sexologist. He deals with the treatment of sexual disorders in women and men. He works both individually and with couples. She conducts psychotherapy for victims of sexual violence. He conducts diagnostics and psychological support for transsexual people.
More advice from this expert
Contraception after pregnancy [Expert advice]No tender kisses [Expert Advice]Not wanting to have sex [Expert Advice]No desire for sex [Expert's tip]No orgasm [Expert Advice]Lack of arousal during sex [Expert Advice]Failure to ejaculate [Expert Advice]What to do when your partner fails or you have sex? [Expert advice]Can neurosis affect erection? [Expert advice]How To Stop Premature Ejaculation? [Expert advice]How to focus on sex? [Expert advice]How to save a marriage? [Expert advice]Masturbation - yes or no? [Expert advice]Masturbation and Sex [Expert Advice]Masturbation in a relationship [Expert Advice]Small penis circumference [Expert Advice]Husband and Internet Pornography [Expert Advice]The husband doesn't want to make love [Expert's tip]I cannot communicate with my husband [expert advice]Low male libido [Expert Advice]Concerns [Expert Advice]He withers too quickly [Expert's tip]Confidence of the past and jealousy of the partner [Expert's tip]Premature Ejaculation [Expert Advice]Triangle or maybe a quadrangle? [Expert advice]Addiction to Pornographic Movies [Expert Advice]Vagina Too Tight [Expert Advice]