I am 18 years old, I am a 3rd grade student of high school, this year I am passing my high school diploma. I am writing to you because I noticed that something very bad is happening to me. I believe that I have a huge nutritional problem. For many years I have had complexes about my figure and weight. Over the last year, I was determined and lost a lot, as much as 19 kilograms. At the beginning I treated the diet with distance, I ate very often and a lot, but I did not eat anything after 6 pm. At first, losing kilograms was not a major problem for me. After losing 10 kg, the weight stopped, for the next 3 months I could not lose even a gram, and I was only 2-3 kg short of my dream weight. I stubbornly insisted, I said that I would not miss it - and then it started, kilograms started to drop … and how? I drastically limited my food, began to passionately browse through the caloric tables, ingredients of food products, dietary food recipes. I stopped eating what my mother used to do for me - I had to prepare all the meals myself to know exactly what was in them and to easily calculate the approximate calorific value of a given dish. This is how another 9 kilos flew. At first, people admired me, said I looked great. It made me keep losing weight even more. At some point my perception of myself changed, my friends, coaches (I train ballroom dancing) said you are very thin, don't lose weight anymore. At every turn I heard "eat something finally, come on, eat, eat" and I still didn't see a very thin person in myself - I didn't think I was fat, but I thought that I was normal, slim, but not emaciated. At one point, I noticed that eating became my obsession - every day I plan what I would eat for a given meal, I calculate the approximate calorific value of the planned dishes, with a watch in my hand, I wait for 3.4 hours from the previous meal to start the next one. I noticed that I often buy sweets just to close them in a cupboard, arrange them nicely, look at them, feast my eyes on them. I store them in the room thinking that if I suddenly feel like eating, at least I will have enough. I have kept contacts with friends to a minimum, I very rarely go to parties, meetings outside of classes, to the cinema or shopping, because there WILL BEEATING or THEY WILL MAKE ME TO EAT IT. My whole day is focused on eating - shopping, planning what to cook, I can't focus on anything else. If I eat something outside the program, I have great remorse, I cannot cope with it. If I don't eat something, I feel better, I feel in power, I feel in control. I regularly look at myself in the mirror, I look if my stomach is not gaining weight. I noticed that I like to eat alone. I prepare meals with incredible accuracy and aesthetics. I love cooking for others, I enjoy it. I like to talk about food. What changes have I noticed in my body? - I feel excruciatingly cold almost all the time. I have icy hands, legs, the tip of my nose. - My hands and feet are blue. - The skin turned a gray, sad color. I'm pale. - Wounds, cuts take a long time to heal. - Worse condition of hair. - Amenorrhea for almost 3 months. - I often have spots in my eyes. - I passed out once. - Excessive sleepiness and fatigue. What changes in behavior, apart from the ones I mentioned earlier? - I totally ignored school, I can't bring myself to study, and when I sit down to a book once in a while, I can't concentrate. My contacts with my parents are much worse, my moods are changing and I am irritable. I isolated myself from people, I crave solitude. I would like to add that sometimes I have bulimic episodes. When no one is home, I go shopping, buy whatever I deny myself while on a diet, eat it until I can move, and then vomit. Of course, the next day a huge remorse, I hate myself for what I have done, and for the next several / several / several dozen days I follow my diet. Is this already anorexia? Bulimia?
Your symptoms already indicate a serious eating disorder, which may have very serious consequences, initially worsening he alth and well-being, as you have already noticed, and eventually may even lead to death. Starvation and then bouts of gluttony and vomiting would indicate that you developed bulimia.
You list all the classic symptoms of eating disorders - distorted body image, avoiding people, eating alone, obsessive calorie counting, changes in the body, starvation, binge eating and vomiting.
You should contact an eating disorder treatment center as soon as possible and start treatment. It is also important that you find, in your surroundings, in your family, a trusted person to whom you can tell the truth. This is very important because you now need support and help from your relatives.
NaI would like to add that after a successful treatment you can go to a dietitian who will create a he althy nutrition plan for you. Keeping a he althy diet and being physically active is enough to keep a nice, slim figure. For this, you do not need to starve yourself or constantly count calories.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Magdalena Krzak (Bogdaniuk)
Psychologist, psychotherapist, clinical sexologist and forensic sexologist. He has a Clinical Sexologist Certificate, awarded by the Polish Society of Sexology, after completing full specialization in clinical sexology in Warsaw, and a Court Sexologist Certificate. He deals with the treatment of sexual disorders in women and men. He works both individually and with couples. She conducts psychotherapy for victims of sexual violence. He conducts diagnostics and psychological support for transsexual people.
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