We are 39 years old, we have been together for 8 years and we live together for about that. Every once in a while my master is offended and goes silent. I don't want to talk, explain or listen. Every time, regardless of the so-called blame, I softened the situation, apologized, begged him to speak to me, hug me, etc. I know, I created such a system myself - the Lord is offended, I run to pacify him … It hurts a lot for him not to speak, as if punishing you do not know what for. I found it costing me too much, that I didn't want to beg, apologize, etc. I am important too. Effect - my Lord has been blowing cold for 1.5 months, no tenderness, no sex - ordinary everyday: hello, it was tasty, etc. - they fall, but nothing else. I told him how I felt that I didn't want to keep playing like that, that it hurt me - I heard that it was just like I wanted. When asked if he does not mind the acid between us, he answers - it doesn't matter, when asked what he feels about me - he answers nothing. And I feel that my heart is breaking, I wish it would be like it used to (our relationship in normal conditions looks like we met a week earlier), but I know that I cannot apologize and beg on my knees again.
Hello! Unfortunately, such problems are difficult to "cure" because they are usually mutual conditions. You behave in a certain way, it causes your partner to react, and so on. You have to find, firstly, a diagram of this whole winding of the spiral, and secondly, a way to break it. I am afraid that it will be very difficult without professional help. Sure, there is nothing to extend this state of affairs, and you also cannot react every time as if you were atone for some terrible guilt. Visit a relationship therapist (e.g. psychologist Piotr Mosak) and improve your performance. Even if your partner doesn't want to go at first, don't worry. You can also do a lot yourself.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Tatiana Ostaszewska-MosakHe is a clinical he alth psychologist.
Graduated from the Faculty of Psychology at the University of Warsaw.
She has always been particularly interested in the issue of stress and its impact on human functioning.
He uses his knowledge and experience at psycholog.com.pl and at the Fertility CenterFertimedica.
Completed a course in integrative medicine with the world-famous professor Emma Gonikman.
More advice from this expert
Verbal aggression of the partner [Expert's advice]No orgasm [Expert Advice]No meaning in life [Expert's tip]Lack of self-confidence? [Expert advice]Can you forgive treason? [Expert advice]Depression after marital infidelity [Expert's tip]How to deal with a child's low self-esteem [Expert's tip]I'm nervous [Expert's tip]Fear of sex [Expert Advice]Fears of a two-year-old [Expert's tip]I have depression? [Expert advice]Masturbation in a 5-year-old girl [Expert's tip]My son doesn't want to study [Expert's tip]Neurosis in the family [Expert's tip]I don't believe in myself and I don't see the point in my life [expert's advice]Aversion to children [Expert's tip]Niejadek [Expert's tip]Not controlling your emotions [Expert Advice]Husband passed away [Expert's tip]Decline in libido [Expert Advice]Stress - how to relax? [Expert advice]I Avoid Sex With My Husband [Expert Advice]Broken movie after drinking [Expert's tip]Addiction to lying [Expert's tip]Mother and 11-year-old son sleeping together [Expert's tip]I fell in love without reciprocity [Expert's tip]Jealousy [Expert Advice]Jealousy and low self-esteem [Expert's tip]what is wrong and how to help yourself? [Expert advice]How do I act [Expert's Advice]