Last year I returned to Poland, in July I left my husband, Jordan. But now I want to go home. My husband did not want to leave, I thought he wanted our relationship. I understood a lot during this time. I was lost, I didn't know how to proceed. I thought I would be fine here and be free to do whatever I want, dress my own style, go out wherever I want and so on. It turned out that this life does not entertain me and I care about my family - I miss it very much, I miss it a lot. Besides, I am in a situation where I have no job, no friends, and I don't meet anyone. If you leave here, you don't come back. I cry every day, I remember everything, I dream of a husband and a child. I can't cope with it, it's overwhelming me. My husband deceived me on various points. Now he does not call, he does not reply to text messages, he is not interested in anything. We have a child, he is 5 years old, he is in Jordan. I want my husband to bring him here. At first, I didn't want this baby, but I understood what mistake I had made. I am his mother and he is Polish, although he was born in Italy. The husband doesn't even give a sign of where he is. I don't know what to do in this situation. I've never felt this way before. Please help.
In such difficult matters, where the family is scattered all over the world, the most important thing is understanding and the willingness to meet. Each parent has a right to a child, but in different countries and laws, this can be used against the other parent.
From the letter I understand that there were some talks, some arrangements. It turned out over time that it was different than it was supposed to be. It is different in the country, it is different with the husband. You've lost contact. A meeting is necessary. You should forget about old animosities and unfulfilled expectations or promises.
Maybe that way you can persuade him to talk. You have to tell him that it is wrong, that it is not what it was supposed to be, but it is worth talking, it is worth taking care of the family. Please tell him that for the family you are ready to verify your plans and resolutions and you expect the same from him. If you can't live together in Jordan or Poland, maybe live together in Italy or M alta. The place doesn't matter. More important is trying to save the family.
When you felt bad and you do not feel good inwhere you are, change them. However, if it turns out that you don't want to be together anymore, the conversation is just as necessary. Then you need to establish the way of contacting the child. You have to trust yourself again that you will not juggle the child, kidnap him, separate him, etc. Determine where and when and on what terms you can see each other. Even though relationships fall apart, the parents become parents and the child needs both of them.
Please talk to your husband this way. If that fails, legal aid must be sought here, and also where it is. Lawyers who know legal procedures and tricks will help here. Regards.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Piotr Mosakeducational psychologist and business psychologist, business trainer, psychotherapist, university lecturer.
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