After 7 years of marriage, my husband and I have decided to divorce. There are many reasons: I accuse my husband of alcohol abuse and betrayal, while he accuses me of lacking goodness and love for him. The decision has already been made, but I have a problem how to explain to the 6-year-old daughter the fact that we moved out from her daddy, that we will no longer live in our house. The child constantly asks and I try to talk to her a lot, I explain that sometimes it is better for the parents to be separate than they should constantly argue and that we still love her very much, but after some time she asks about the same thing again. Recently she asked me to promise her that someday we will come back to the house and to my daddy. How do you tell your child that the decision to break up is final?
Hello! Just like you do until now - gently, firmly and patiently. Be prepared to repeat the same things over and over again. The child still cannot believe what is happening and needs a lot of repetition and the passage of time. After all, the world she knew so far has collapsed and she needs to calm down a little so that the daughter has a chance to re-arrange it. For this I need your confidence and constancy, and patience in translations. Tell the truth, but adjust the complexity of the message to the understanding of the six-year-old. Don't expect your child to be your ally and to stand by your side. She may not like what is happening and is en titled to do so. However, you make the decisions and bear the consequences. You have to be strong for yourself and for your baby girl. Good luck.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Tatiana Ostaszewska-MosakHe is a clinical he alth psychologist.
Graduated from the Faculty of Psychology at the University of Warsaw.
She has always been particularly interested in the issue of stress and its impact on human functioning.
She uses her knowledge and experience at psycholog.com.pl and at the Fertimedica Fertility Center.
She completed a course in integrative medicine with the world-famous professor Emma Gonikman.
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