I'm with a boy who really cares about me, but I have my doubts. I don't want to get involved in anything that turns out to be a mistake. We talk about everything and I know that our continued being together obliges us to something and that is what I am afraid of. I know he has his own needs, and so does every boy, but I'm afraid I won't be able to handle it all. As a result, I cannot focus on my studies at all - I am studying, but the next day I do not remember anything and there are also problems with my parents and their opinion on it … What to do?
Hello! First of all, don't be tragic! At your age, your problems and dilemmas are quite normal. Trouble making a wise decision, trouble with parents, trouble with learning… It's all to be done and resolved, just take it easy and sequentially. Don't worry about your parents for now - they are actually always dissatisfied with something and always have some doubts. Of course, they are worried about you and would like to save you from anything that is not good and disturbing. Unfortunately, even the wisest parents will not be able to do this. Which does not mean that you have to completely "ignore" their opinion. Talk to them, ask, discuss, but do not be unnecessarily upset. Be calm with the boy too - don't be afraid of something that doesn't exist yet. For now, you are worrying about it and would like to anticipate possible problems. You don't have to decide on anything if you don't feel like it and don't feel ready. You decide when and what steps you take. Especially when it concerns your body and important issues that may affect your future. Sex is fun, but at the right time with the right person. You also don't have to "go all out" right away if you don't want to. And besides, you can talk to a boy, like a man, and see what he thinks about it. If the relationship is serious, then things can and must be established together. For now, try to enjoy more of what is - meetings, conversations, company. Nothing by force!
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Tatiana Ostaszewska-MosakHe is a clinical he alth psychologist.
Graduated from the Faculty of Psychology at the University of Warsaw.
She has always been particularly interested in stress andits impact on human functioning.
She uses her knowledge and experience at psycholog.com.pl and at the Fertimedica Fertility Center.
She completed a course in integrative medicine with the world-famous professor Emma Gonikman.
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