Four years ago I broke up with a boy I loved very much. I needed a lot of time to learn to live without him, I suffered a lot. Now I have a new boyfriend whom I love and although I do not miss my old love anymore, whenever I see him, I feel physically bad, I am angry, my head hurts, my eyesight becomes blurred, my legs refuse to obey, my hands are shaking, I say vaguely and meaningless. This is how his family affects me, but to a lesser extent, and everyone who has done me any harm. I need a moment to get over it, then I can talk normally. I want to get rid of these attacks because it makes my life difficult.
It's hard to get rid of your responses based on sensitivity and good memory. The sight of the former boyfriend and those people are moving, you can see some painful memories. It does not have to be a proof of unexpired love, but rather a resentment that is not completely healed. What to do? This is where a meeting with a psychotherapist is usually advised - but I know that for most it is difficult or impossible. There are not many therapists, there aren't any in smaller towns, the obstacle is the lack of time, money and embarrassment. But you can work on it yourself: do not avoid embarrassing meetings, if they do occur - treat them as a good "testing ground", as a task, not a threat. Get used to such situations. The first, even small successes, will give you strength and will prove that you can do even better. Not by dodging, but by facing it. Regards!
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Tomasz JaroszewskiSecond degree psychiatrist
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