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My partner and I are 22 years old. We have been a couple for 3 years, lovers not much shorter. Our sex life is very successful, but recently I started to think about one thing. For about 2 years my partner has never "ended" intercourse in the form of penetration. I did not attach any importance to it, because we started doing so after talking about increasing the protection against pregnancy, and later it gave him great satisfaction. However, I noticed that such a long period without ejaculation inside is probably a cause for reflection. We protect ourselves with contraceptive pills. Some time ago, during the turmoil with taking them, my partner preferred to wait about 2 weeks until he was sure that the protection was active, instead of buying and using a condom. Anyway, a similar situation took place at the very beginning of our relationship, when the passion was great, and my partner decided to wait for the first intercourse until the doctor prescribed me pills. Although we had condoms on hand at the time, we never used them. Even when we recently made love standing up, at the last minute our partner sat down and ended up outside, although it was very unexpected and almost required acrobatics. Can avoiding ejaculation inside be an expression of a lack of commitment and fear of a shared future? How should I talk to him about this?
Both of you are still very young. On the one hand, the attitude of your partner may, of course, indicate a lack of commitment and fear of a shared future, but on the other hand, it may also be an expression of a very high level of maturity and responsibility in caring for you and your future. Based on the information you provided, it is difficult to say why your partner is so afraid of pregnancy.
Please look at other spheres of his life, his general approach to the future, how he was brought up, what his family message about children and family was. In general, please ask and talk as much as possible about his needs, what is important to him, because one of the pillars of the relationship - apart from a successful sex life - is getting to know the partner's needs and expectations.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Agnieszka ChochołSexologist, psychologist, Solution Focused Therapy therapist, certified ICC coach. He deals with promoting broadly understood sexual he alth as well as providing help and support in the field of sexual and psychological difficulties. She conducts individual therapy and couples therapy. More at: http://sulec-radom.pl/
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