I'm 32 and a virgin. My problem is the loss of an erection during the first intercourse. I met a woman and for the first 4 years we did not sleep together, only after this period my longed-for moment came. Even when we talked to each other on the phone, I could have an erection … but then I couldn't. The truth is, I've been masturbating for many years, and I've been using the internet and porn videos for this lately. Can you explain to me what is the reason for my lack of an erection? In the years we were with each other, I really wanted this close-up, sometimes even when I was masturbating I thought about her. And now we're not together anymore. I have one more question… My penis measures 12 cm. Is it enough to fully satisfy a woman? I've heard that length doesn't matter as only 3 cm of vagina are stimulated and volume matters more.
The problem with the loss of an erection in a man is likely to be psychogenic. Characteristic for this group of disorders is that the lack of erection or its disappearance occurs when attempting to have sexual intercourse. Neurotic disorders can manifest themselves in various forms, such as complete loss of erection when attempting intercourse, partial erection making it difficult or impossible to penetrate the vagina, correct erection before intercourse and during penetration, but disappearing during intercourse.
The described neurotic symptoms often occur in men who are emotionally involved, and are also the result of excessive sexual arousal. The more a man cares about his partner, the weaker sexual arousal appears (in its place there is a state of nervous tension), which results in weakness or lack of erection. Similar symptoms occur in men who want to have intercourse with a very sexually attractive woman. Erectile dysfunction can be caused by sexual anxiety complexes as a result of your long abstinence.
You write about the fact that you have been masturbating for many years, and recently with porn videos. Well, masturbation itself is not bad and does not affect erectile dysfunction. In contrast, masturbation combined with pornography, especially in the long runlong-term, it may have a negative impact on your sexual performance. In this case, the solution to your problem is a visit to a sexologist who, based on more information from the sexological interview, will be able to determine the cause and recommend further treatment. In your case, it's most likely psychotherapy.
Regarding the question of penis size, from the point of view of the physiology of sexual contact, the size of the penis is not a problem, as the average length of a woman's vagina is 8 cm. For most women, a large penis does not matter - a sufficient length is 8 cm for them. The female vagina adjusts to the penis size during intercourse. Paradoxically, a bigger problem for a woman may be a too large penis, which, when inserted into the vagina, makes intercourse painful. You are right that for women, the volume is more important than the thickness of the penis, and when it comes to stimulating the vagina, the most important thing is the few centimeters of the vestibule and that's where the G point is.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Agnieszka ChochołSexologist, psychologist, Solution Focused Therapy therapist, certified ICC coach. He deals with promoting broadly understood sexual he alth as well as providing help and support in the field of sexual and psychological difficulties. She conducts individual therapy and couples therapy. More at: http://sulec-radom.pl/
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