I had an awful lot of cuts during adolescence, but this was a normal period when it came to sexual matters. I was normal, I was interested in sex and so on, but I wasn't like this. Now I'm 20 years old, I love to watch men or lesbians making love. Transvestites excite me. I think a lot about sex, sometimes even several times an hour. I am excited by brutal sex and not only fantasies because I could taste aggression at least a little. I am not at all excited by the thought of soft sex. I wish that someone would throw me, pull my hair, bite, etc. I discovered that I am bisexual recently and in my opinion it is also a bit abnormal. Just like a teenager "falls in love" with some singer, actor, I have similar ones, with the difference that I am only attracted by physical attraction. As I collect urine in my bladder, this feeling excites me. I do not know why it is like that. It has been going on for about two years, even more. Is something wrong with me?
Damage to the body in the form of a cut is evidence of a very strong, negative experience that you experienced, so strong that you were unable to deal with them. I think that they were not indifferent and influenced your life in general, including your sex life. When it comes to sexual orientation - both bisexual and homosexual orientation are recognized by science as the same correct sexual orientation as heterosexuality. Pressure on the bladder can affect sexual arousal because the urinary tract and the genitals are very close to each other and their sensations can be mixed. There is nothing disturbing about it. Regarding your sexual preferences - fantasizing about aggression and a lack of interest in "standard" sex - it is disturbing, and here I would refer to your past emotional experiences. You don't write anything about your relationship with your parents or guardians, and often this is very important. Sometimes, for example, a disturbed relationship with the mother can influence later fantasies, saturated with aggression towards women. Pulling your hair, kicking, hitting a lady is just as much of maiming your body as cutting yourself in the past, it is only expressed in a different form today. I think you have a very large emotional load, caused by unresolved problems from the past. To solve this problem, you shouldgo for your own psychotherapy to a psychotherapeutic office.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Magdalena Krzak (Bogdaniuk)
Psychologist, psychotherapist, clinical sexologist and forensic sexologist. He has a Clinical Sexologist Certificate, awarded by the Polish Society of Sexology, after completing full specialization in clinical sexology in Warsaw, and a Court Sexologist Certificate. He deals with the treatment of sexual disorders in women and men. He works both individually and with couples. She conducts psychotherapy for victims of sexual violence. He conducts diagnostics and psychological support for transsexual people.
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