My baby is lying all the time. Recently you told your educator that she was beaten terribly, he and his siblings. After one interview, the lady sent a letter to the court. Earlier, I reported that he was lying a lot. I didn't get any help from her. I asked her to talk to the child's father, but she said that there was no need to, that everything would be decided in court. After this conversation with the teacher, the child did not want to go to school. She didn't even want to talk to her second son as if he wasn't at school. On our own, we reported the children to a psychologist, everything turned out well. The guardian of the children came, they said that nobody beats them. The younger one, who is almost always lying, often intimidates Grandma when he watches over them. When she asks him to clean up, he threatens to tell the school that he beats them. Of course, there will be a family court case. How to prove that a child was lying, after all, you believe children?
The case is frightening and difficult. If you do not beat your children and you can prove it with the testimony of your sons, other family members, neighbors and acquaintances, do not be too meek. You should file a complaint against the teacher to the school headmaster and report to the prosecutor's office about the crime of slandering you, damaging your good opinion and exposing the child and family to psychological shocks related to the investigation. The school counselor has a duty to deal with beatings of students. However, apart from the information from the child, she must have a number of evidence (e.g. evidence of beatings on the child's body, best documented with a medical examination, witnesses of the child beating from among family members, colleagues, neighbors, etc.) I understand that this lady does not have such evidence. evidence. The probation officer conducts an interview not only at the indicated child's home, but also among the neighbors and at the school. You can check what you have learned in the court case files (you have the right to inspect the files, they are in the court registry, you must know the case number). The probation officer's opinion is important to the court. On its basis, the court may dismiss the case and not deal with it any longer. If a hearing takes place, because the teacher presents some evidence, or someone from your neighbors accused you, the court interrogates parents, children and witnesses (both the accusations and the defense - report your witnesses to the court in writing). Before the trial, the court should send the child toyour own psychologist, and then interview them in the presence of a forensic psychologist - make absolutely sure to demand it. If your son admits that he invented the whole story, and you describe the pedagogue's mode of operation, the case should be discontinued. Lawyer not necessary, but sometimes helpful. So many tips for dealing with institutions. Now for the baby. My son has the right to fantasize and tell false things. I think it makes a great difference between fantasizing and lying, since it uses lies to blackmail. The child has the right to err. Until now, my son did not realize how painful the consequences of certain types of lies can be. This story would teach him a lot. However, you cannot leave him alone with the problem of lying. You have to help him understand, think about and reject lying, especially as a method of justifying himself and fighting what is inconvenient for him. He must understand that a wrongful accusation is the worst kind of lie, that whoever lies also lies to himself. The boy is still small, so you have to visually show him the bad effects of a lie, e.g. ask: what would happen if I lied to you and told you that you have to cross the road with a red light? There are many stories about liars that may help our son to understand that no one respects a liar, that a lie has short legs, etc. Currently, the boy is faced with the problem of admitting his mistake. You can see that he does not feel well with it, since after talking to you, the teacher began to avoid school. Man is not born with civil courage - that also has to be learned. The family has the greatest influence on raising a child. Therefore, you are faced with a difficult task. You must encourage and show the erring son that it is worth telling the truth, admitting your mistakes, even when it is difficult. You have to give him other ways to show his “I” other than refusing to cooperate and scaring a lie. How to do it? First of all, when he goes astray, do not shout at him, just explain it calmly. Turn minor pranks into a joke. Encourage other ways to show your value and strength (talents, creativity, helping others, keeping your promises, etc.). He wants to draw the attention of the environment to the fact that there is and can do a lot. Help him, because he himself misunderstands it and chooses wrongly. Control it so that you can praise it. Celebrate the elders and categorically forbid mistreatment of Grandma. Try to show the child more affectionate interest, talk to him, show approval more often when he tries to be nice and useful, when he has small achievements. Let the son feel that he is loved, good, valuable, that his matters are important to you, and that the family is his ally, tries to understand him and helps to bebetter. Bonds with the family, family pride give a sense of security. Trust in the family favors the adoption of behavioral patterns (imitation). Here, people learn how to live and what values should be valued. That is why it is worth being patient and putting a lot of effort into raising children, although it takes many years and new problems keep appearing.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Barbara Śreniowska-SzafranEducator with many years of experience.
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