I've always had some problems that I can't deal with. The first is that I don't speak much among my friends. Somehow I can't come up with a new topic, make a joke, etc. The second problem is that when I go shopping, I do not go relaxed, but always tense. The third and final problem is that I am not attracted to being with people I know. In the depths of my soul I feel that I would like to, but when I think that I will say nothing or nothing, I immediately refuse to speak up. I can't go to the hairdresser or anywhere else because (maybe I'll put it wrong) I'm afraid. I don't know what. When there is a party, I am drawn to dance a little, but I can't because the shame eats me up so much that I can't move at all.
It's good that you spoke up, because the states you describe cannot be tolerated any longer. As long as you are just shy you can try to deal with it on your own. I recommend Aleksander Łamek's book "Shyness - how to get rid of it?" (also online sale). The author writes about his own struggle with shyness. Now he is a famous psychotherapist. You claim that something is blocking you and you cannot live like your peers. You feel uncomfortable and shame is paralyzing your movements. You are afraid of strange places and people (you feel unpleasant tension in the street, you overly experience simple contacts, e.g. in a shop). Where do you get this condition from? Your nervous system, which also controls your psyche, deceives you. So you don't believe in your own worth and feel that you are constantly being watched and misjudged. Of course that's not true. You know and know a lot, you have some talents. Like everyone else, you experience joys and sorrows. You brush your teeth and you are not the ugliest person in the world, and your peers do not drive you out of the company, but you yourself avoid them. But do not worry. It can be broken. Many sensitive people have such troubles. A psychiatrist and a psychologist will help you out. Don't hesitate, it's a waste of your life. You need to eliminate your fears of people and the world as quickly as possible. Then you will regain joy, energy and you will decide about yourself. Report to the Mental He alth Clinic for Children and Youth (I don't know where you live, so you have to find the address on the Internet). You do not need a referral to such a clinic and the care of specialists is free of charge. Make an appointment with a psychiatrist and psychologist. Tell them about yourstrouble. There is nothing to be afraid of, nothing to be ashamed of. That's what the professionals are there to help us. The condition of good cooperation is telling the truth and listening to the interlocutor. Usually, help consists in periodic medications and psychological therapy. It does not hurt. So, Pawelek, let's go! If you do not feel capable of dealing with the formalities at the Clinic yourself, ask your parents for mediation. Good luck and good luck.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Barbara Śreniowska-SzafranEducator with many years of experience.
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