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I have a problem with my 12 year old son. The problem is with science. My son fell terribly in it. Bad grades, no homework. Recently, she has been getting comments from teachers, such as that she is talking in class or misbehaving. He studied very well until the middle of the 5th grade. In the second, however, he began to refrain from returning to technical and plastic works, and ceased to care about grades at all. I am very nervous because I do not know how to get to him. At the beginning, I translated, I asked, and now I'm screaming. I know you can't, but he doesn't hear me at all. I am worried about him because he is already in the 6th grade and there is a 6th grade test before him. I don't know what to do and where to report, you can give me some advice.
It's not easy at this age. But you can't give up. After all, we are responsible for the development and future of our offspring. The son lost interest in school. Do you know why? The answer to this question is the basis for further action. It is known that he grows up, has new interests, dreams and ambitions that must be respected, but at the same time kept an eye on. It is useful to support and to warn against the dire ones. You need to start talking to your son as an adult. He is no longer a small child and knows that in order to have a profession, you have to learn something and graduate from at least a secondary school or technical school. Do not shout at the child - you will not do anything about it, and you will only spoil mutual contacts. Even when he tells you that he is bored by school and it does not waste his time, accept this valuable information and remain calm. Show your son a heartfelt, loving interest in making him feel that you are not condemning him, but that you just want to understand and that you are ready to help him fulfill his dreams and life plans. Find out what he is going to (maybe he wants to extend his childhood by repeating a grade?), And maybe he would like to become a musician or an athlete. In this way, in the conversation, you will come to extracurricular dreams or fascinations that can be supported and helped in their implementation. But for that you have to get through the school at the same time. You will be happy to help him make up for the arrears, but in order for him to succeed, he must make a responsible decision on this matter. I am a supporter of a child's rational investigation into the necessity of change. This is the most effective method. There are people who need to "strengthen the drive" by concluding specific contracts. For example, you buy a guitar, you pay for music lessons if you start learning togetherand he won't have any sticks for the six months. Unfortunately, such agreements can only be fruitful for the time being. For example, after buying a guitar, the school will go to the corner again and we are at the starting point. I think you should also talk about your son at school, preferably with the class teacher. The fact that a mother is interested in her own child and is ready to help him in difficulties always has a positive effect on the attitude of educators towards the student. When teachers start to treat him differently, fuel his ambitions, make fun of his pranks, show that they like him and want to get him out of bad grades, the son's behavior and attitude towards school should also change. Ask for it. Let them reprimand him less and praise him more. Let the child feel that it is worth something, that it can do a lot if it wants to. Everyone has a need for success and acceptance. A good atmosphere is conducive to mobilization. I hope you will get along with my son, he will stop worrying that you are worried and will start to cooperate. Don't panic. The lower secondary school test is not difficult and any thinking child is able to write it. It is important to concentrate when reading the commands, and this should be practiced. I wish you peace and patience and faith in your teenager's common sense.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Barbara Śreniowska-SzafranEducator with many years of experience.
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