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My husband's eight-year-old daughter starts crying very often for no reason and sometimes she needs to be calmed down for a long time. What could this be caused by? She lives with her mother and her new husband, she visits us once a month. Our information shows that we also have such crying at home. I also have two daughters, a 6-year-old and a 1.5-year-old. The younger husband is treated as his own child (he adopted her), the older one sees her father. We have recently had a son, he is 3 months old and I am afraid that maybe my husband's daughter cannot accept it and that is why these cries have intensified because he is trying to attract his dad's attention. We would like to help her in some way, because the whole situation is difficult for us, the children in our house are happy and do not cry like she does. Are we able to deal with it ourselves or would a visit to a psychologist be advisable?
Hello Ago! It is not surprising that a child becomes emotionally unstable in such complex family relationships. Each child reacts differently to these types of situations. Look at reality like this: an eight-year-old sensitive girl, after the shock of her parents' divorce, separation from the father she loves and needs, "taken" from her mother by a stranger who tries to win her favors, sees that her dad is preoccupied with others home and family. Are these not enough reasons for a child to feel rejected, feel sad and helpless? Are these not enough reasons to lose the sense of security and nervous balance? Your suggestion that crying is a way of getting attention is accurate. However, this desire does not have to be realized. Rather, crying is a cry of helplessness in the face of an incomprehensible new world that has deprived the child of its current place, rhythm and relationship with the environment. A girl needs more warmth and love than usual to find herself in the new reality faster. Psychologists will advise you on how to deal with your child. All adults involved in marriages should consult family therapists for instructions. And the results of the daughter's psychological examination will help therapists choose the best solutions for the child. Regards. B.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Barbara Śreniowska-SzafranEducator with many years of experience.
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