I am the mother of a 14-year-old. For some time my son has not wanted to study, he is rude - he always talks in school lessons, he is always there where they make trouble, he is arrogant to teachers, even though there are no such models at home, he already had a lowered behavior grade. I am beginning to fear if the same thing awaits us this year. If he wants to, he can get very good grades, but this happens rarely and under our duress, it often happens that he is dangerous, as if he had no ambition at all. I will add that he is a dysgraph and dysgraph. How can you help both him and us?
Hello Magda! 14 years is the beginning of the period of rebellion and negation of the surrounding world. The trick is not to let the boy go to waste. There should be a hard, masculine conversation about arrogant behavior towards adults. You live differently and you just don't want these antics. Arrogance is not adulthood. Young people, using the models of their peers, reach for this type of reaction in order to impress their colleagues, show how brave and uncompromising they are. They usually do it unconsciously. The son must rethink this matter, know that in this way he unnecessarily alienates his surroundings, while at the same time achieving nothing. The boy is bored with school. So he participates in other "attractions". Whether you will interest him in science - it is not known. Maybe he'll get interested in time. What is needed is the help of teachers who will not only punish him, but will look for his good sides. To awaken your child's ambitions, you need to show them a field that will fascinate them. Take a look at his talents, awaken passion, create conditions for success. It doesn't have to be a school subject. Think what the boy might be interested in. There is a natural need for success in man. When a child is praised, he or she is mobilized to fight for even higher recognition. Maybe the son would start training judo or another sport discipline? Maybe a completely different field of activity is at stake? You know him best and you know what would consume him. Make it easy for him. Also, ask the teachers to try to get your son interested in something, to distract him from unacceptable classes. They won't solve the problem of punishment. The boy knows he's misbehaving. Punishing distinguishes him and (in his opinion) makes him a hero. It must be given the opportunity to stand out in a different way. Good luck. B.
Remember thatour expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Barbara Śreniowska-SzafranEducator with many years of experience.
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