I've been shy since I can remember. Until now, my mother remembers how I was ashamed of different people and tells quite funny situations related to it, when I ran out of the room with "burning" face. I've always been quiet, calm, and composed. I have never spoken in a wider group of people. At the time, I didn't see a problem with it, because I managed to get out of it somehow, and I was sure that it would pass with age. The only problem was with single people, like boys, who showed interest in me. I was like "How is that?" somewhere inside I had it coded that I was always the "third" person, so how can I suddenly come to the fore? It seemed to me that maybe someone was trying to taunt me in some way and I was running away from these contacts. Anyway, to be honest, I have had it so far. In any case, now I have started to see that shyness does not only affect this type of situation. This year I became a student of the 1st grade of high school and because of this problem I do not take an active part in the lessons. "I'm afraid" to open my mouth, to express my opinion during classes. I don't speak up when I'm not asked, even when I'm sure what I'm saying is right. Unfortunately, high school is no longer a junior high school. In this school, you cannot sit in the chair for 3 years and only write tests and cards well. You have to contribute and take part in the lesson, but how do I do that when I'm paralyzed by fear? At the moment, this shyness is closing many doors for me and taking away a lot of opportunities. More than once, I even fainted, for example, at a school assembly, just before I was about to speak at the whole school forum. It becomes a curse! More than once I tried to break through. I wanted to do something by force, against myself. I read the books "How to Spread Your Wings?", "How to Overcome Your Inferior Self?", But it didn't do much for me.
Good that you wrote. Something has to be done about it. And fast. Because of this "affliction" you cannot fully use your knowledge and talents. It hinders your contacts with people etc. In short: it prevents you from fully realizing yourself. It can't be like that. You can't still feel "third". You can't keep giving up on your dreams and aspirations. You need to gain some confidence. You are right that delicacy, modesty and shyness are virtues. But when they are too intense, they become a burden and a serious obstacle in everyday lifefunctioning. You know it and understand it. A lot of people have similar problems. Responsible for them is the more sensitive than average and less resistant nervous system. Not everyone is born with a battering ram. Fortunately, we have scientists who have already explored our interior a bit and know how to immunize us to certain situations. They are able to give "operating instructions" and learn how to do it in order to minimize or remove our tensions. The functioning of the nervous system and the psyche is de alt with by psychologists and psychiatrists. That's why you should visit them for an interview. I would encourage you to visit the Mental He alth Clinic for Children and Youth, because they both work there at the same time. They are professionals with a lot of practice in dealing with young people, kind to the world and willing to help. Don't be afraid of the clinic's name. There, a psychologist is a psychotherapist, and a psychiatrist is a life counselor and a doctor at the same time. The psychologist will first talk to you, then conduct tests to precisely define your personality and determine if and what type of therapy you need. He will also tell you if you should talk to a psychiatrist who can (after diagnosis) at least periodically support you with medication. During the therapy (individual or in a group of people with similar problems) you will learn various exercises (e.g. breathing), the use of which minimizes tension. You will learn techniques to overcome and get rid of fears and mental blocks. And that's what it's all about. Psychotherapy is a very interesting field. Whoever does not treat it like magic knows that it can be very effective. Agatha! I encourage you to book an appointment with a psychologist right away, even before you think about it all. There are no (unfortunately!) Immediate deadlines there. They may be requesting a referral from your GP. They often accept faster in private visits, but it costs money. In the meantime, you can also try to reach the Educational Clinic, where a psychologist resides. I can see that you are observing yourself and you can tell about it. This will make the task much easier for those who will try to help you. Use help when your attempts to start the fight on your own proved ineffective. Also, do not regret the time you spend reading the guides. Maybe they helped you, for example, understand yourself better? Good luck and best regards. Speak up again sometime. The addresses and telephone numbers of the Mental He alth Clinic can be obtained from the Internet or from the telephone information of the National He alth Fund, and the address of the Educational Clinic (some of them are called Pedagogiczno-Psychologiczna) should be posted on the information board at school. He is also known to the school pedagogue.
Remember the answerof our expert is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Barbara Śreniowska-SzafranEducator with many years of experience.
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