I've been in a relationship with a man for 4 months. For three months, we met almost every day, albeit briefly. After 3 months he does not need to see me so often, although he calls me quite often and says that he cares as much as at the beginning and I cannot make my feelings dependent on the frequency of meeting. He says it's natural to have a greater need to get to know the other person in the beginning. Unfortunately, this is not the case with me. I still need to see him every day or at least every other day. The more that we do not live far from each other. When I told him that, he took it as a reproach and is even less inclined to see me. Could it be that he still cares about me? How to reconcile the fact that I miss and want to meet, and he does not need to? I don't want him to force himself, but are we only supposed to meet when he wants to? I am striving for marriage and I would like our relationship to be deeper and deeper. At first I had the impression that we understood each other very well, but now it seems to me that any explanations make the situation even worse.
Dear madam!
I suppose you already have some relationships with men behind you. I would advise you to check whether in the current relationship it is possible to discover a pattern of behavior that occurred in the previous ones, or if you are not accompanied by some established beliefs about what a relationship between a woman and a man should look like. If you discover this, you can try to verify or change these beliefs somehow. It is also worth considering what you are striving for in your pursuit of marriage. What are your wishes for this marriage, to what extent is it your personal need and what losses could you incur if you were married? Understanding with your partner will be conducive to a good understanding of yourself, your own needs and fears, and the relationship should be treated as an opportunity to learn something new about yourself.
Pozdrawiam
Józef Sawicki
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Józef SawickiA specialist in individual therapies with many years of psychotherapeutic experience. In clinical work, she deals with psychotic patients. He is interested in the philosophy of the East. More at www.firma-jaz.pl.
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