My 5-year-old daughter is quite a discreet girl and knows perfectly well (in terms of her understanding) what is right and what is wrong. For some time, however, he has been doing wrong very often, and then he tells me about it. For example, "Mummy, I scattered the bricks and didn't clean up", "Mummy, and I woke Zuzia on purpose", (younger sister), "Mummy, and I played in the sandbox and then I ate dinner, and didn't wash my hands" - from her words it is perfectly clear that she knows that she has done wrong, which is why it irritates me that despite this awareness, she does what she is doing and also tells about it, as if she was boasting about it. I don't understand this behavior. How do you respond to such words? Punish bad behavior, praise for confession, stubbornly explain (again!), Ignore?
Hello! It is very enjoyable and upbuilding to look at the development of an intelligent child. This is what you are dealing with. However intelligent it may be, it is still very tiny. First of all - probably the daughter only "after" the occurrence of a certain situation recognizes it as inappropriate. During its duration, there is no such awareness for some time. Second, it's great that when it recognizes what's right and wrong, it lets you know immediately. Thirdly - she's probably constantly testing whether what she already knows is what she should know and also checks your consistency. So everything is in the best order and you have patience, constancy of boundaries and praise that tells you about incorrect behavior. You have to strengthen her in this and forbid, God do not punish when she confesses. You also need to give a hint on how to behave next time. Besides, you can show her the not always pleasant consequences of certain behaviors (e.g. you woke Zuzia up and now your mother has no time for you to play). It may not matter that much now, but then, when other disturbing behaviors start to emerge, you will most certainly prefer to know about them. Unfortunately, many children are already so effectively discouraged by their parents' behavior that they prefer lies or silence to the truth.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Tatiana Ostaszewska-MosakHe is a clinical he alth psychologist.
Graduated from the Faculty of Psychology at the University of Warsaw.
AlwaysShe was especially interested in the issue of stress and its impact on human functioning.
She uses her knowledge and experience at psycholog.com.pl and at the Fertimedica Fertility Center.
She completed a course in integrative medicine with the world-famous professor Emma Gonikman.
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