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I don't know if it's a good topic, but I have a problem that I can't deal with. Well, I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years. He is from a family where only his mother brings him up, because his father has cheated on his mother and they are divorced. I am a girl who has recently enrolled in another school. I have great success with boys who unfortunately write to me etc. My boyfriend has my passwords on all portals and he controls me. If I change my password, it's a pause. He sees potential "new partners" everywhere. He breaks up with me, then apologizes. He's calling out whores. I can't go out with anyone (colleagues) because I'm already going to cheat on him. I want to take him to the doctor and he doesn't. I've had enough. It would be best for him to tie me to the radiator and not let me go. I am depressed, I only despair when a boy writes. Please help.
Betrayal is a very difficult feeling and has many faces. It is good if there is an element of jealousy in the relationship (I think about the he althy one), worse if jealousy turns into a disease and becomes burdensome for the partner or partner. I think that you have such a problem and it is starting to get stronger. I cannot tell you what to do or what decisions to make, because you must know and feel. Please ask yourself, are you happy in this relationship? Do you want to be controlled and humiliated all the time?
It would be good for your boyfriend to go to therapy and work through his family problems, because they are probably the cause of his behavior. Controlling is a symptom of distrust, and insults directed at you are psychological violence. Maybe you should go to a psychologist to learn how to put limits on your partner? Please think about it. Over-control causes many unpleasant feelings such as fear, drug, guilt, hurt or insecurity - which causes partners to distance themselves from each other and eventually the relationship breaks up. Sometimes such a lack of trust in a partner means that a person who is constantly accused of cheating - will eventually betray (why call a wolf out of the forest). I think that talking together about the future of your relationship and therapy will be a good solution.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Ewa GuzowskaEwa Guzowska - educator, addiction therapist, lecturer at GWSH in Gdańsk. A graduate of the Pedagogical Academy in Krakow (social and care pedagogy) and postgraduate studies in therapy and diagnosis of children and adolescents with developmental disorders. She worked as a school educator and addiction therapist in a drug addiction center. He conducts numerous trainings in the field of interpersonal communication.
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