I am beginning to wonder recently if I have not started anorexia. I am obsessed with it, which started when I gained a few kilos after graduating from high school (I ate a lot during my studies). Then I weighed 53-55 with a height of 152 cm. I started exercising a lot, eating the so-called "he althy things" and it worked. I went down to the weight of 45-47 which satisfied me then, I felt attractive and I felt good with myself. But my undoing was the chips, which I loved in every quantity and ate a large packet every day. So I quickly returned to my old habits and gained weight again. I started thinking about what I was eating and exercising again. I didn't go back to my old habits anymore. I have lost to 45 kg and is keeping that weight. I realize that with my height this is the right weight, but when I look in the mirror I feel fat and I disgust my body. All the time I have the impression that my thighs are huge and that I have big "sides". When I eat something "inappropriate" I immediately wonder how it will affect my body and I have the impression that it automatically grows larger. I don't weigh myself often, because only once a week, but when I weighed myself this week, the weight indicated one kilogram more. I immediately felt thick as a barrel. I don't know if this is the beginning of anorexia, but I'd rather be sure.
Your description indicates that these are the beginnings of eating disorders, which are very often associated with low self-esteem and self-assessment through the prism of weight. Weight fluctuations indicate that you are likely to be fasting and binge eating - this style of eating is more indicative of the onset of bulimia than of anorexia. Anorexia is about stopping eating altogether, and bulimia is characterized by alternating fasting and overeating. Over time, after eating, the sick person provokes vomiting or uses laxatives - this way, it reduces the enormous feeling of guilt by consuming a large amount of calories. It is very valuable that you recognized this problem at an early stage and that you are seeking help. I think you should go to an eating disorder center (you can find a contact to an eating disorder center on the internet). It would be helpful to contact a psychologist who will work with you to improve your self-esteem and a dietitian who will arrange a diet (and possibly physical exercise) that will provide your body with the right ingredients without gaining weight.Starvation causes the body, depleted of the ingredients necessary for life, to react defensively. Then there is an excessive appetite and the body creates "reserves" in the form of fat in the event of another starvation. As a result, all diets involving drastic restriction of food or the elimination of some important foods from the menu (e.g. carbohydrates) have the opposite effect, in the form of the yo-yo effect (weight gain even greater than before slimming). Knowing the basic principles of nutrition (such as not eating before bed, eating regular meals throughout the day, etc.) will help you keep a slim and slim figure. However, the help of a psychologist is also important, he will help you look at your body more objectively. Thanks to this, you will see the effects of your efforts and you will be satisfied with your appearance. Since you have already started to do something in this direction, please do not stop and make an appointment with a specialist. Otherwise, the unresolved problem may get worse.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Magdalena Krzak (Bogdaniuk)
Psychologist, psychotherapist, clinical sexologist and forensic sexologist. He has a Clinical Sexologist Certificate, awarded by the Polish Society of Sexology, after completing full specialization in clinical sexology in Warsaw, and a Court Sexologist Certificate. He deals with the treatment of sexual disorders in women and men. He works both individually and with couples. She conducts psychotherapy for victims of sexual violence. He conducts diagnostics and psychological support for transsexual people.
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