I am asking for your opinion on the following matter: I have been working in a village school since September. I have an upbringing in the fifth grade. Janek is neglected - his mother is mentally ill, his father is an alcoholic, and his older brother is in prison for a bloody fight. The boy at school is quiet, has problems with reading and writing. He is embarrassed and upset when he answers. His most common answer is "I don't know." But after a while of conversation, after being encouraged to remember what he heard in class, he manages to get something out of him. It's like that at school. After lessons, Janek wanders around the countryside, uses vulgar words and breaks lanterns. He rarely plays football with his friends. He can be malicious and aggressive. I feel sorry for Janek, so I started to "tame him". I practice reading and writing with him after school. I'm talking. I got him into a drama club and gave him a two-sentence role. This aroused amazement and indignation among the teachers. The argument: "he's the worst!" I understood that Janek had been "crossed out" a long time ago. However, I am not going to give up. Do you also think that I am trying unnecessarily? Natalia
Dear Natalia! Don't give up your efforts. You act wisely and nobly. When a child is rejected, and at best tolerated by the environment, someone has to come to the rescue. You offer him kindness and acceptance. And he, needing support on a daily basis, wants to cooperate with you. Try to make the most of it. Continue to look for good sides and talents in it. Praise even small achievements to convince him that he is not worse than others. Show interest in his problems. It is a very good idea to involve a boy in a theater group. After all, it is not about becoming an actor, but about having his place in the group, feeling needed and starting to be perceived differently by adults and peers. The dislike of Janek is probably due to the dislike of his family, which will be difficult to change. Breaking stereotypes is not an easy task. Therefore, look for allies among teachers and Janek's colleagues. It is hard to believe that all children would be hostile to him, and there was no one among the educators who understood that if his family did not take care of him, others must do it. You have to try to draw him into a world other than home, learn a lot, guide him in such a way that he has a chance for a different life. Janek's social situation is not favorableemotional and nervous balance. Aggression and malice are presumably reactions to the indifference of the environment, which only then notices them. Try to see Janek at a psychologist. He can also explain a lot to you and suggest ways to deal with the boy. However Janek's fate would unfold, the time when he is surrounded by kindness and gets to know the valuable aspects of life will not remain without a trace. I wish you strength and perseverance. B.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Barbara Śreniowska-SzafranEducator with many years of experience.
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