Dependent personality disorder is a personality disorder characteristic of dependent people, with low self-esteem, who avoid responsibility for their decisions. Dependent people rarely realize that this is a healing entity. They usually go to a psychotherapist only when the disorder prevents them from living normally.

Dependent personality disorderusually involves people with a specific character structure. The typical features of such people include, among others reduced self-esteem, dependence, submission, timidity, perceiving oneself as helpless, incompetent, deprived of strength and skills. Dependent people are so imbued with a fear of abandonment that they approve of almost every decision of the person on whom they depend. Even if they feel some disagreement, they are unable to express it, and in certain situations they may even act to their own detriment. As long as you do not lose your current "support".

Dependent personality symptoms

Dependent personality disorder is a disease included in the official International Classification of Diseases ICD-10 under the symbol F60.7. Its diagnosis must include at least three of the following symptoms:

  • Subordinating your needs to the needs of other people;
  • Feeling of loneliness, unjustified fear of losing the person you depend on;
  • Feeling of inability to decide for yourself;
  • No requirements for the people you depend on;
  • Agree to help others make important decisions;
  • Inability to make decisions without the advice and support of others;
  • Inability to express dissatisfaction towards people you depend on;
  • Lack of faith in one's own abilities and skills;
  • Striving to please at all costs the people you depend on;
  • Frequent feeling of helplessness;
  • Strenuous search for new acquaintances in the face of the vision of losing previous ones.

The most important feature of a dependent personality is dependence on others. A person with this disorder almost constantly strives to be close to the person to whom he wants to shift responsibility for his life decisions. The act is abnormal - it ismore compulsive than a natural way of maintaining a bond. The greatest enemy of people with dependent personality disorders is the vision of being alone and the need to make independent decisions, not relying on the advice of others. Such people, being alone, feel lost and helpless, they cannot make any decisions on their own - both simple ones, such as choosing an outfit for a given occasion, and more complex ones, such as choosing a profession.

Dependent personality disorder - causes

Dependent personality may be influenced by several factors, ranging from biological to experience determinants. With regard to biological factors, dependent personality may simply be conditioned by the temperament with which a person is born. However, this is often not the fault of the genes themselves. Psychiatrists believe that often the cause of this disorder is specific upbringing. The dependent personality of a child is usually the responsibility of parents who presented an authoritarian or overly caring educational model. Parents who take care of their children at every step, do not allow them to independently decide about themselves in trivial matters, e.g. choosing a toy or the color of socks, do not shape their individuality and do not allow them to develop natural curiosity.

A child who is not taught to make his own choices, may also have a problem with it in his adult life and will be left to others in this matter. Only a few people have a chance to "achieve independence", eg through a youth rebellion, and thus develop their identity. However, there is no rule for this.

Worth knowing

Dependent personality disorder - where to go for help?

People with dependent personality very rarely ask for help themselves, if in everyday life the attitude they have adopted suits them. The problem is usually noticed when, as a result of this disorder, the joy of life is lost and things become unnecessarily complicated. Sometimes the consequence of the feeling of dependence may be depression or neurosis - most often when a person loses the person on whom he was dependent until now and is unable to cope with it. It is best to turn to a psychotherapist for help with the problem of dependent personality disorder. In more severe cases, when the disorders are accompanied by symptoms of mental illnesses - the help of a psychiatrist becomes indispensable.

Dependent personality disorder - treatment

An effective form of help in the treatment of dependent personality disorder is psychotherapy determined by a psychologist. Pharmacological agents are used very rarely in treatment. Usually only when the disorders are accompanied by unjustified anxiety or depression.

The most important thing in dependent personality psychotherapy ismaking the patient aware that they have the right to decide for themselves, that they are a separate individual who can make responsible choices and satisfy their own needs, and the duty of others is to respect this autonomy.

The duration of therapy is usually quite long, which is related to the difficulty of building a proper relationship between the therapist and the patient. There is a risk that the psychotherapist will become another person who will become addicted to the patient. Therefore, it is important to maintain a proper attitude in the work of a psychologist. On the one hand - as a therapist - he has to support, on the other hand, show the patient and require him to make independent decisions and be less submissive.

Take the Dependent Personality Test and see if it applies to you

If you suspect that you or a loved one have a dependent personality, it is worth asking a few questions. An affirmative answer to most of them may be a sign of a personality disorder.

Do you have dependent personality? - test

  • I consider myself a vulnerable person.
  • In a relationship, I am looking for a person who will have an advantage over me and will provide me with security.
  • I idealize my partner, friend.
  • When the person who is most important to me is missing, I feel bad and I can't cope with this loneliness.
  • If I had been abandoned / spurned by someone close to me, it would be the end of the world.
  • I nurture my relationship at all costs, often making concessions and giving up my own needs.
  • When there is distance in a relationship or relationship with a friend, I feel tremendous anxiety.
  • I am able to sacrifice even relationships with children or friends for my relationship.
  • I often can't go against my partner, my friend.
  • I'm jealous and suspicious (often for no reason).
  • When I'm alone, I get depressed.
  • When a relationship ends, I quickly look for my next love.
  • I like to do work on the recommendation of others, I prefer when someone sets goals for me.
  • I can do a lot to gain sympathy with others.
  • I like being around people the most.
  • I panic when suddenly I have to do something on my own, e.g. deal with some important matter.
  • I often lack self-confidence, it demotivates me.
  • I'm self-critical.
  • I like to consult others, also on personal matters.
  • I am docile, meek.
  • I avoid responsible functions and tasks - also at work.
  • I often pretend to be happy.

Category:

Psychology