I recently turned 28. I have been in Norway for 1.5 years. It happened for the good of the relationship. I quit my job. I am a physiotherapist, I am constantly completing additional courses. For several months now, I have not known what to do with my own life. I'm suffocating. I thought that living together and living together would change something. That I will become a fiancée, wife, mother. Meanwhile, after over 3 years of relationship, there was not even an engagement. I miss work, family and friends. I dream of developing myself. My boyfriend, on the other hand, is not talking about the future, he is busy with his own company. I have the impression that he only thinks about money, a flat, cars and his own dreams. We hardly talk. What should I do to be happy?
The isolation you write about, the longing for loved ones, the old life often accompanies people who, for various reasons, decided to emigrate. Being able to adapt to a new country is a very individual matter, so if only that would be a problem, I would advise you to give yourself some more time. Unfortunately, I am reading about a relationship that does not meet your expectations and, at least at this point, is not able to compensate for the discomfort associated with going abroad. You ask: what to do to be happy? I'm afraid that only you know the answer to this question.
Please try to answer for yourself: what do I really need? What would I like my personal and professional life to look like? When you manage to define your expectations at least to a minimal extent, it is worth talking about it with your partner. I read about the feeling that the boy is not thinking about the future. It is worth checking whether this is true, whether thinking about money, focusing on the company, etc. is an expression of immaturity, or on the contrary, he has such an idea to secure further life together. Perhaps you have similar needs, but completely different ideas for implementing them.
The desire to develop, which you are writing about, is absolutely natural, so it is worth checking whether the stay in Norway is able to satisfy it to any extent, or whether professional fulfillment is possible only in the home country. Before you make important decisions, I encourage you to get to know your needs and expectations, and then confront them with the needs and expectations of your partner. It probably won't be an easy conversation, but noit is difficult to move constructively.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Patrycja Szeląg-JaroszPsychologist, coach, personal development trainer. She gained professional experience working in the field of psychological support, crisis intervention, professional activation and coaching.He specializes in the area of life coaching, supporting the client in improving the quality of life, strengthening self-esteem and active self-esteem, maintaining life balance and effectively dealing with the challenges of everyday life. She has been associated with non-governmental organizations in Warsaw since 2007, co-runs the Center for Personal Development and Psychological Services of the Compass
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