The marriage crisis has become a fact. Fewer and fewer couples are getting married and the divorce rate is increasing rapidly. Why do we choose free unions and why is marriage no longer a priority?
Couples move in with each other to see what it will be like after the wedding? What else do the statistics show? At the beginning of the 90s in Poland, over 70 percent. brides were not yet 25 years old, now only 40 percent. women get married before the age of 25. In 2001, out of 1000 weddings, on average, 33 women and 50 men were 25-29 years old, in 2010 - 55 women and 62 men. More and more often 30-year-olds stand on the wedding carpet for the first time. The trends we observe do not differ from those prevailing for years in Western European countries. The average age for getting married for the first time is 30 in Sweden, 29 in Denmark, 28 in Finland and Norway (2002). The young people delay their wedding because they do not have the same motivation to get married as they used to, and they treat the institution of marriage as an insignificant piece of paper. They learn, improve their qualifications, make a career. They don't want the time to get married.
We choose free unions
Not so long ago, in order to live together, you had to get married, because this is what moral principles dictated. Today, marriage is no longer seen as a social norm. More and more couples live together without getting married and don't need to formalize their relationship. Even in Catholic countries, including Poland, sexual intercourse before marriage does not shock anyone anymore. We are becoming more and more liberal, so there is no such social pressure to legalize the relationship (33% of respondents see nothing wrong with cohabitation - CBOS 2008). Many people see marriage only as a document, not as a relationship between two loving people. They don't want to get married, fearing that the formalities might only destroy their affection. As a result, the number of couples living in cohabitation is increasing. This lifestyle is popular especially among young people. In the past, the lack of material security was the main reason discouraging the legalization of a relationship. Today it is rather the prospect of losing the freedom and independence that a free union gives us that causes anxiety. Some people believe that marriage favors a routine that kills the relationship and brings only daily problems, so they prefer to live on a so-called cat's paw. For somea life without obligations is a protection against possible divorce. More and more couples come together for trial purposes to see what it will be like after the wedding. Many of them get married when they set up. Most Polish couples get married when a child arrives (more and more often the first is born in an informal relationship). In Sweden, most children are already born and raised outside of marriage. In Poland, as in the West, more and more couples do not want to have children, so they do not get married.
First career, then marriage
Nowadays, the pursuit of career and the ubiquitous race against time are not without significance. A consumerist lifestyle, putting our own needs before the good of the family - all this means that we put off legalizing the relationship until later. Getting married is not conducive to better and better education of women - in Poland they constitute as much as 70 percent. all students. Educated women throw themselves into the vortex of work. They devote themselves to their careers until they gain professional stabilization. For them, the relationship is only an addition to life, most often sexual. Only around thirty do they start looking for a partner. For modern women, marriage is no longer a priority because they are much more independent from their mothers and grandmothers, for whom getting married was the most important event in their lives (for men, marriage is even less important than for women). And the desire to start a family no longer goes hand in hand with the need to legalize the relationship.
Solo lifestyle
Being single is being promoted in the media today. For some, it is a justification for the fact that they are alone, while others consciously make such a choice. Psychologists believe that committed single women come from women who prefer a career, not building a family and having children. They are educated, attractive, lead an intense erotic life, fulfill themselves in accordance with their own needs, work in a professional position, and have financial independence. They enjoy life without limits. Sometimes they periodically live in cohabitation or in a long-term free relationship - they do not run a joint farm, but meet a close person from time to time (2 or 3 times a week), living separately. It is difficult to determine who is single today and who lives in an informal relationship, because the line is blurring. In any case, the longer a woman lives alone, the less she values marriage and family, and the less likely she decides to marry. Some people realize in their early forties that they may not be able to deliver their babies. Then, under time pressure, they look for a partner and usually find him. The result of such action is late motherhood and the necessity to give up the current lifestyle. Butthey can afford babysitters and a good kindergarten, so they quickly return to their world without giving up their passion.
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