The goal of DDD therapy (an adult child from a dysfunctional family) is to learn the ability to accept and care for yourself in a spirit of respect for other people. Psychotherapy is needed when a DDD person, despite being aware of his destructive and difficult behavior, cannot get rid of the automatisms he has learned from childhood. See what DDD therapy is all about and when it is worth using the help of a psychotherapist.
DDD therapyis about learning how to deal with problems and acting in a different way than before. An adult child from a dysfunctional family in the past had to learn the methods of living and surviving in a sick situation through no fault of his own. What worked for the pathological family will not work for building a normal adult life. In order to stop behaving like a child in more difficult situations, you will need to contact a therapist.
Assessment or even diagnosis of DDD is a multidimensional issue, and whether it requires therapy depends really on the individual characteristics of a given person, their readiness to change and the degree of difficulty they involve in everyday life. It is undeniable that parents are the most important and first role model for a child. They teach how to deal with problems, overcome difficulties, and decide about the educational methods conveyed by the values.
This developmentally important time determines many aspects of adult life, developing a sense of security, self-esteem, a sense of femininity / masculinity, building relationships, etc. In a dysfunctional family, the proper development of a child is almost impossible, and the need to bend to reality and try to adapt to difficult conditions only reinforce these shortcomings in his adult life.
Bearing in mind that there are no ideal families, and each of them has its own more or less dysfunctional areas, it is worth remembering that the consequences that a specific person incurs in adulthood show how efficiently the system is worked.
Reflecting on what actually makes the family dysfunctional, it is worth getting rid of the stereotype of colloquially understood "pathology". Unfortunately, often in unremarkable homes, the neglect of the child occurs, which does not have a form that is obvious to the public.
I am DDD. Do I need therapy?
At the root of DDD are childhood experiences, a time when, having no impact on dysfunction, families used various destructive strategies to counteract the deficits they experienced. These non-developmental models replicated in adulthood only exacerbate the unpleasant and frustrating symptoms of life.
Unfortunately, the mere fact of being an adult and building your reality in your own way is not enough to get rid of unwanted roles or strategies from childhood. With time, it turns out that despite the apparent cut off from the family, it is impossible to get rid of unfavorable automatisms. When you fail to see that well-known workflows are failing, and often carry more harm than good, it is almost impossible to let go of them. Unfortunately, they are often the only way a person works.
Noticing symptoms of DDD should I decide to undergo psychotherapy?Not necessarily. Most people who notice the symptoms of DDD in a better or worse way handle it on their own in everyday life. They start families, work, make friendships, do not want to open up old wounds, do not feel that it would bring anything good to their lives. However, more and more people having difficulties in relationships with others, feeling empty or having trouble building a satisfying everyday life, lean towards therapy. The psychotherapist is a companion on a journey into the past, the main goal of which is to understand, name and implement new ways of acting. Deviating from well-known methods is usually associated with great difficulty or even pain. The need to get rid of the illusion about the family and return to unpleasant memories is usually the only way to improve the quality of your life. The support of a psychotherapist is usually quite effective in regaining balance.
Principles of DDD therapy
Psychotherapy in relation to the DDD syndrome consists in working through a dysfunctional pattern, acquiring the ability to function in a role without feeling guilty, the compulsion of unconditional loy alty or saving others or constantly running away from closeness, own emotions and experiences.
The areas subject to work are also emotional states that are difficult to bear, lack of skills or internal consent to feeling pleasure, automatically entering the role of e.g. a victim despite the lack of objective facts supporting assuming such a position.
Somatic symptoms are a fairly common reason for opting for psychotherapy. Recurring he alth problems difficult to diagnose, in combination withfamily home problems contribute to the diagnosis of DDD.
Not wanting to duplicate dysfunctional schemas learned from the family home, it is necessary during therapy to name and accept the truth about yourself and your loved ones. During individual contact with a psychotherapist or participating in support group meetings, a person who wants to deal with a day with deficits will have to identify himself as an adult child from a dysfunctional family.
The next step is to broaden your insight into the area of childhood experiences and how they determine beliefs, relationship coping, difficulties, and how it translates into behavior in the present life.
The end station of the DDD therapeutic process is the introduction of changes, as a result of which a person working on himself will acquire the ability to accept and take care of himself in a spirit of respect for others. This path makes it possible to change the way of looking at parents, giving them and their previous actions authority in adulthood. Returning to balance and working through deficits is never an easy process, nevertheless, it is worth considering the decision about psychotherapy if the feeling of satisfaction with life is not available using the existing strategies of coping with difficulties or deficits.
Slowly letting go of grief and pain allows a person with DDD syndrome to go through different stages of development again, surrounding himself with adequate care and respect.